working towards an intellectual understanding of booty chatter.

viernes, mayo 30, 2008

it's the money shot!!: now on myspace.

I know what some of you may be thinking. "Aren't you already on myspace?" Well, I decided it was about time that ITMS!! had it's own page on the space, rather than linking to my personal page. Come be my friend! Purtty please?

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bmx: refero beach.

dl: BMX - Refero Beach (YSI)
If I hold off on blogging about BMX any longer, I am going to explode. I've been hooked ever since I first heard "Theme To BMX" on BIGSTEREO, but I never thought my words could do justice in explaining why they're one of my new favorite bands. I did include "War" on my Bathing Booties mini-playlist, but it just isn't enough! They really deserve their own post.

Who are these characters? I'm glad you asked. The allegedly Australian culprits of awesomeness go by the names of Dominique Bird, Jad Lee, Temma Lee, and Dane Wilson. The genius behind it all is Moods. The vibe has been compared to a lo-fi version of Gameboy/Gamegirl, but I think that's mostly because of the male-female vocal exchange and whole "being Australian" kind of thing. Either way, they are the soundtrack to your next beach party.

"Refero Beach" kind of makes me feel like this, but inside my body. I'm so hooked on the child-like vocals, call and response, and guys saying that they're a girl's girl.


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khia: lil wayne remix/cover thing.

dl: KHIA - Lollipop (Lil Wayne sort-of-cover) (YSI)
I was walking around on a very sunny, beautiful day in a mysterious location in the south. I found myself hanging out with Trina again, because we're apparently such good friends now. Or are we? Apparently not, as we get into a pretty violent fight. I punch her in the stomach and say something like "I wish you were pregnant", and then I tell her that I can rap better than her. In an attempt to prove me wrong, she starts reciting verses from one of her new songs. For some reason, I can not rap back.

Flash forward. We are standing on an elevated platform next to a glistening fountain. The air is crisp, like a nice day at the beach. Trina is near tears, explaining to me all the pressure she's under and that it's not her fault that the label released two kind-of-lame songs as singles from Still Da Baddest. She asks to hear some of my new stuff, and I blush while telling her that it isn't really recorded yet. I say to her, "I just haven't been on my writing game to the degree that I was on 'House Party'. I mean, working a 9-5...there isn't much time to focus on silly rap music." She turns her head away sadly in a dramatic effect not too dissimilar to that of a telenovela. I try to explain to her that I'm not judging her for her lifestyle or career choice, but it's just how I feel.

Flash forward again. Trina and I are walking hand-in-hand through a lush field with colorful flowers. I look over to her and smile--"Even though you're a bitch, I still kind of like you." She smiles back and says, "I like you too." Throughout our time together, Trina evolves from a straight-up hoodrat looking chick to a dignified lady with the glow of a Disney princess.

This is the dream I had last night, coincidentally the day after I downloaded Khia 's version of Lil Wayne's "Lollipop". Now I wouldn't call myself religious, but this almost seems as if this dream was an intervention from a higher power that's going to seriously fuck around with the Queen Of The South Chronicles. After hearing this song, her latest single "Be Yo Lady", and her appearance on VH1's Miss Rap Supreme, I am officially revoking Khia's "queen of the south" crown.

Some of you may be wondering why the fuck she had the crown in the first place. You can read about that in my original post about the subject. Now back to talking about "Lollipop".

Reasons why this version is terrible:

  1. Khia's obsession with Lil Wayne is absurd. He obviously does not want her neck or her back, and especially not her crusty-ass pussy or crack. I mean, I don't mind Khia talking about her crusty pussy, but I don't like the mental image of Lil Wayne's mug all UP in her muff. The only thing I want to think about that mouth doing is spitting out great verses (and occasionally terrible verses). The only way he'd ever sleep with Khia is if he was under the influence of more than merely the syrup he's addicted to. I hate myself for saying this, but in the spirit of the recently released Sex And The City movie, I want to tell Khia..."He's just not that into you."
  2. Khia once stated that she came up without the help of men. So now she's trying to capitalize off of the success of a man? Lame, Khia. Lame.
  3. "Lollipop" is already a terrible song.
  4. Despite mostly mediocre verses, Khia's past involved rapping. Recently it just seems like she's become this clownish cartoon version of herself, doing these weird sing-songy vocals. If the sing-songy thing isn't working for Kimberly, it won't work for you, my dear Khia. Perhaps you ought to just take off your big red clown shoes altogether, eh?
Redeeming factors of this song:
  1. I can't help but love that she stole her melody from Shirley Temple's "On The Good Ship Lollipop". I was exposed to this song in my childhood thanks to my late and totally great aunt, and while I can't help but think that she's rolling over in her grave uncomfortably as I write this post...Khia's usage of it is just kind of brilliant.
  2. "Lollipop" is already a terrible song, so Khia really couldn't do much damage here.
Admittedly, Khia's version is growing on me. But that doesn't mean she's getting her crown back. Clearly my dream was a sign that I need to hand it over to Trina.

In my own world, I'd star in a show on VH1 where I'd give female hip-hop and R&B stars career makeovers. It'd be called something like Queer Ears For Da Bad Bitch, featuring Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, anyone who's ever crossed Beyonce's path, and of course Trina. In the first episode, Ms. Katrina Laverne Taylor and I would sit down and map out the details for her follow-up to Still Da Baddest. With our powers combined, we'd create a tracklist that'd be the hip-hop equivalent of The Vagina Monologues. It'd be like the Spice Girls "girl power" thing for a new generation, but we'd call it "pussy power". Women everywhere from Miami to Japan would proudly pump their hands in the air in a V-shape declaring how much they love their va-hey-heys. The album's sales would reach numbers that no one thought were still possible in this day and age. I can dream, right?

Khia wouldn't be invited to be on my show. She's a lost cause at this point.


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jueves, mayo 29, 2008

the real heat: the teenagers cover.

dl: THE REAL HEAT - Love No (The Teenagers cover) (YSI)
Why don't more people blog about The Real Heat? I just don't get it. Three brutally hot sisters from South London who make sexy-electro jams and wear kick-ass neon-shiny outfits? Please explain to me why you're not digging this.

They were last seen on this blog with the Richard X produced "Come We Go". Need I remind you that Richard X produced such gems as M.I.A.'s "10 Dollar" and Annie's "Chewing Gum". And these aren't the only gems he's produced, evident by the fact that "Come We Go" is a motherfuckin' gem. Literally. Gems in MILF vagina!! (Er, remind to stop doing crack) While the group didn't do any extreme promotion of the song, I'm surprised that word of mouth didn't cause it to blow up in an underground sort of way.

To make matters even worst, they've now covered The Teenagers' "Love No", a genuine blog hit. It's yet to make a splash, so can we please learn from our mistakes? This is awesome folks...and these gals deserve some recognition. Spread the word about this song and The Real Heat in general. Bump this track at your pool party, call a friend, or just drive around with your windows down playing it really loud until people stare.


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martes, mayo 27, 2008

dj orion: yo majesty remix.

dl: YO MAJESTY - Booty Clap (DJ Orion remix) (YSI)
The following comment was left by DJ Orion on my post about Yo Majesty's "Booty Clap"--"this is my remix, the basement jaxx track is different. holler at your home boy." Oops, oh my! Oodles of love to you DJ Orion, and apologies for the mistake on my part. I guess we'll just have to wait for the Basement Jaxx version, and if waiting means we must keep listening to your version...then I'm not complaining.

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fear of tigers: anoraak remix.

dl: ANORAAK - Nightdrive With You (Fear of Tigers remix) (YSI)
Anoraak's dreamy electro-tune "the wizzard" was featured here back in September. Since then, I've expressed my excitement about their inclusion on the Buffetlibre REWIND project. You can imagine that it was an extra treat to get a Fear of Tigers remix of "Nightdrive With You" delivered to my inbox. The remix doesn't veer too far off from the original yet gives it an extra kick that makes it ready for the dance-floor.

Two questions remain:
  1. Anoraak, can you drop a full-length album, like...NOW?
  2. Fear of Tigers, can you LIFE?
BONER TRACK: PNAU - With You Forever (Fear of Tigers remix) (YSI)

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viernes, mayo 23, 2008

bedtime for toys: earth, wind, and fire cover.

About a year ago, I was at a party in which the iPod DJ killed the party by playing nothing but bad ol' skool soul, funk, R&B, and disco. By stealth methods of doing the hipster fist-pump across the living-room of the frat-house hosting the party, a friend and I located the guilty iPod and replaced it with one with a superior music selection. We had less than a second to decide what to play next, as the hosts and partygoers would be suspicious if the music stopped for too long. While it was a risk because the song was only just catching on, we decided on Rihanna's "Umbrella". The dancing-space was no longer empty after that.

When the host discovered our dastardly plan, she transformed from the pretty
Little Red-Haired Girl into a total cracked-out Skeksi. Pretty people aren't meant to be angry! And while I'd like to say otherwise, they're definitely not meant to be DJs. She snatched the iPod out of my friend's hand and replaced it with the original. Interrupting the bodies who were grinding to a pleasant pop song (and the song itself), she turned on "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire. The dancing-space got empty faster than Josh Peck came in Olivia Thirby's vagina in The Wackness (see it June 3rd, seriously!)...

Beyond even this instance, I have a hate-hate relationship with "September". When I initially heard that Bedtime For Toys was doing a cover of the song, I had mixed feelings. Either they'd bring new life to a song I hate, and I'd be forced to admit that I may like "September", or I'd hate their cover solely because I hate the original. Or both! While I'm hesitant to say that I'm a fan of the cover, it's been growing on me since first hearing it. Given that I'm already tapping my foot vigorously in my desk chair, I imagine that I'd probably be drunkenly dancing to this if it came on at a party. And while Marchelle's performance of the song is outstanding as usual, I think this has a lot more to do with the instrumental. No matter how great you are, Bedtime For Toys, you can NOT get me to admit that I like "September". Ever.

Aside from the BFT IZ PUNK n B project, the Toys seem to be recording some other new material. "Cold Fever" was recently given a
video treatment, and a new song called "Flashback" has just popped up. It incorporates the "Woo! Yeah!" sample that I'm ever so fond of, and even makes a lyrical reference to Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock's "It Takes Two". The Toys clearly know the way to this blogger's heart.

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miércoles, mayo 21, 2008

yo majesty: booty clap.

dl: YO MAJESTY - Booty Clap (produced by Basement Jaxx) (YSI)
I don't know if Nate Chinen is lying or if this is a remix by DJ Orion, but I'm almost positive that this is the long-awaited collaboration between Yo Majesty and Basement Jaxx. If almost positive isn't enough for you, let me tell you that I'm certain that this is the best thing Yo Maj has done since "Kryptonite Pussy". Also, I have now obtained Shunda K's business card.

BLOGGER NOTE: Yo Majesty's wikipedia page deserves a spot on The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. They toured with "CSS" and "The Gossip".

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martes, mayo 20, 2008

purple crush: madonna cover.

dl: PURPLE CRUSH - Physical Attraction (Madonna cover) (YSI)
I mentioned last month how excited I was for Purple Crush's contribution to Buffetlibre's REWIND '80s cover/remix project, and now it is finally here. Not much to say here, except that Isla and Jared do not disappoint with this one. Compare to the original Madonna track, complete with a gyrating dude in a wifebeater and boxers. Later on tonight, I may be dancing in my underwear to the Purple Crush version. But you can't watch that.

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lunes, mayo 19, 2008

le corps mince de francoise: pollution.

Le Corps Mince de Françoise was recently featured on BIGSTEREO. I left a comment stating, "I’m not quite obsessed yet, but I’m extremely intrigued." I may be eating my words soon, much like I'm totally eating up their newest song "POLLUTION!" In fact, I am devouring this shit like some Pringles. I've popped and I just can't stop, and if I could pop-and-lock...I'd make a video of myself doing it to this song and post it on YouTube. I'd proceed to get famous in Helsinki, because that is where Le Corps is from. And if they're not famous there yet, they should be. Mmm...Pringles.

Great minds think alike, as I immediately made the same CSS (Cansei de Ser Sexy) comparison as Travis, perhaps with a little bit of TheDeathSet mixed in. "POLLUTION!" rocks a little bit harder than the peppy vibe of "COOL AND BORED" (listen here), and it's precisely the sort of silly, slightly noisy electro jam that I've been craving. If I don't get a damn dancefloor under my feet right now, people are going to start staring.


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miércoles, mayo 07, 2008

immuzikation: santogold + justice.

dl: SANTOGOLD vs. JUSTICE - L.E.S.D.A.N.C.E. (Immuzikation BlackNotBlend) (YSI)
I never remember my dreams, but this morning I had a distinct memory of one of them. I was in some unidentifiable city, though some sort of combination of New York and London. I believe I was on a tour of some beautiful church. It was boring, so I spot Rick Ross and Trina. I decide that it'd be a good idea to hang out with them, and they're totally down. We're walking through the streets of New-London-York when a former acquaintance of mine starts shouting from miles away that she wants us to come pose in a picture with her. Rick Ross and Trina aren't having it. I start a mental dialogue with myself about whether I should ask Rick Ross if I could be on his next album, but then I get worried that he saw my review of Trilla and knows that I think he's a bad rapper. Then the other part of me says to myself, "Um, if he's such a bad rapper...why don't I have a deal with Def Jam and sell hundreds of thousands of albums?" This dilemma is never solved, and the dream ends with Rick Ross wanting to go into a health-food store and Trina refusing. I'd like to think that her refusal was something along the lines of "Uh uh, you know my traffic-stopping ass can't fit through that door!", but she didn't specify. I'm also sure that Shervin was in this dream at some point, possibly trying to continually convince me that Ashlee Simpson's "Outta My Head" is actually a good song (not really, but I swear he made a cameo appearance).

Why am I telling you all this? It's quite simple. As I was recounting this dream via e-mail, I was listening to a mash-up of Santogold and Justice by Immuzikation. At approximately 2:37, vocals from Trina's "Told Yall" are introduced into the mix. This was not indicated in the e-mail that was sent out by Immuzikation. FREAKY. Not to mention that Santi White was one of the writers for "Outta My Head". Not to mention that "L.E.S. Artistes" has been stuck in my head all week. Not to mention that I was JUST thinking about how Justice is completely overrated.

Coincidence? I think not. Immuzikation iz n mi subkonschnz, fukn wit mi brn!


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martes, mayo 06, 2008

itms!! mini playlist: bathing booties.

It may be May, but it's not too soon to get ready for the beach. Bathing suit? Check. Sun-tan lotion? Check. Towel? Check. Music? Don't worry. I got your back on this one.
POP THE FISH - Chez Ta Soeur (YSI): Considering that I don't know any French, I know very little about the lyrical content of this song (other than the fact that the title translates to "with your sister"). For sake of maintaining a theme, let's pretend it's about making sandcastles with your little sister. If that doesn't work, at least the word "fish" is in the artist's name? You know, fish totally live in water and shit. Pssh, gimme a break. The songs just need to sound like summer, and this electro-pop jam has "fun in the mothafuckin' sun" written all over it. (SPACE IT - HYPE IT)

BMX* - War (YSI): You steal two fun noodles from some ugly kid and challenge your crush to a duel on a dock, because this beach apparently has a dock. Frustrated by your inability to knock them off with your foam weapon, you just push them off. Now everything is awesome. Your crush looks smokin' hot when wet, you barely broke a sweat, and you are the cheater your momma told you never wins. (SPACE IT - HYPE IT)

MGMT - Just Becuz (YSI): Despite not breaking a sweat, the noodle-fight leaves you quite thirsty. You head over to a concession stand to grab a water, and then you notice that they have ice cream. You worry for a second that it'll go straight to your hips, but then you think "Bump that, this will be delicious." You get a vanilla cone, and you ask for lots of jimmies. Because you are totally from the Midwest and don't like the word "sprinkles". (BUY IT - SITE IT - SPACE IT - HYPE IT - WIK IT)

BRANDY - I Wanna Be Down (Norrit remix) (YSI)**: While waiting thirty minutes prior to swimming, the best '90s R&B song ever pops into your head. You think about how much you want to be down with your crush, and you get a metaphorical boner. I say metaphorical solely because you might have a va-hey-hey. If you don't, then you totally got a real boner. Embarrassing! (SPACE IT - HYPE IT)

MATT AND LIL KIM - 5k, Mothafuckah (YSI): You start to feel guilty about that ice cream cone, so you join a game of volleyball. You realize that Naturi Naughton, formerly of 3LW fame, is on the other team. You start trash-talking her like, "Haha, remember when you were famous?" and then she tells you that she'll be playing Lil Kim in the upcoming film Notorious. You start to feel foolish, but everything gets better when your team kicks her team's ass. You try to get your teammates to chant "Your Playas Can't Really Play" at her, but they don't really get what you're talking about. (VIRB IT)

OLD GOLD - God Almighty (YSI): After so much physical activity, you decide to get your swim on. While drying off, you can't believe your eyes. The volleyball court has been taken over by a gaggle of hot chicks in brightly-colored bikinis. They're pretty good at volleyball, but then they start wrestling, trying to rip one another's bathing suits off, and making out. You feel really stupid when you realize that they're filming for a beer commercial. (BUY IT - SPACE IT)

LADYHAWKE - Back Of The Van (YSI)***: Your crush is listening to Usher and starts joking around, singing "I wanna make looooove on this beach, (ay) on this beach, (ay) on this beach". You're like, "For real?" They say, "4 real, 4 real!" And then you make out. FOR SERIOUS! But you don't make love on the beach because there are other people around, you don't want sand in your butts, and the phrase "making love" gets you both uncomfortable. (SITE IT - SPACE IT - HYPE IT)
* BMX has an incredibly cute song called "Refero Beach" on their space. I'm obsessed. Via BIGSTEREO, but of course.

** Via Palms Out Sounds

*** via BRRRLN

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jueves, mayo 01, 2008

alan wilkis: milk and cookies.

dl: ALAN WILKIS - Milk And Cookies (YSI)
Alan Wilkis is an independent musician from Brooklyn, and he recently released his first solo album Babies Dream Big. Combining '70s and '80s soul, soft rock, and electronic music, Wilkis creates jam after jam. A popular track on the album called "Milk And Cookies" was partially inspired by Tears For Fears, but that wasn't all! Wilkis confided in me about some of the lyrical content in the song...
"Lyrically, (this is kinda funny / can't believe I'm admitting this) some inspiration came from New Kids on the Block... that's right... NKOTB! A friend had emailed me the song, 'Tonight,' probably more as a joke than anything, but I wound up listening to it a bunch of times. There's all these funny Beatles references in there (seriously) - they rip off some of the string parts from 'Eleanor Rigby' and a bunch of other things too...totally weird and awesome...

"Anyway, I was listening to it and noticed that they must have said the word "girl" about 15,000 times over the course of the song. Like so incredibly excessive that I started thinking what if they were in on it/were consciously trying to be ridiculous/clever under the guise of total pop stardom, and did their fans even notice at the time? So basically, I was thinking about that quite a bit when I came up with the verses for the song..."
On top of genre-fucking, this song is a total mind-fuck in the best way possible. The synth that comes in around 0:15 is so reminiscent of Reading Rainbow, and then it turns into this totally rad '80s arena rock Beck-esque tune. There's this totally-Nintendo breakdown at 2:25, and around 3:33 another breakdown reminiscent of fist-pumping and Prince. Genius.

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