IT'S THE MONEY SHOT!!

working towards an intellectual understanding of booty chatter.

viernes, agosto 29, 2008

zibrazibra: tick tock

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Finally, the hipster answer to The Village People.
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jueves, agosto 21, 2008

a.human: pacey singer.

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A.Human are following up their first single, "Black Moon," with "Pacey Singer," another song on the Nick Cave does Depeche Mode tip. This band seems to be rapidly developing into one of those bands to chase, appealing to all points of my fifteen odd years of music fandom in some way. They're brilliant acoustic, they're good fun electric, and they're not bad in the club either. What's not to love?

Oh and hi. I used to keep an mp3 blog, back in the more formative days of all of this, that none of you ever read called Uncritical. I'm helping out Mr JJS III for a bit. I'm no kind of artist, but I'll be posting art by friends in the future.
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miércoles, agosto 20, 2008

pink nasty: untitled dog song.

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Miss Jackson if you're nasty? Or maybe you like it Nastia. Or maybe you should just listen to some Pink Nasty.

Sara Beck, the waffle-loving young woman who goes by the alias of Pink Nasty, has just liberated two new demos on her space. There appears to be some uncertainty about whether they'll make it onto the follow-up to her album Mold The Gold. I'm rooting for "Untitled Dog Song" to get itself a title, as well as a place on the album. Why? Because it's a song about getting drunk and buying a dog. 'Nuff said.

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lunes, agosto 18, 2008

josh jones: m.i.a. cover.

dl: JOSH JONES - Paper Planes (M.I.A. cover) (Z - YSI)
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When the new single from the 29-person Swedish pop group I'm From Barcelona popped up on stereogum, a lot of folks were disappointed that it wasn't a M.I.A. cover. Understandably so! The song in question, "Paper Planes", has the exact same title as what's now become dear ol' Maya Arulpragasam's first top ten hit. Up until that point, there'd been a handful of remixes of M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes", a bunch of versions with rappers hopping on the track, and a video of Rihanna doing a live cover. Surprisingly, there were no full cover versions cyber-seducing our secret lives...

That all changed over the weekend when the combined forces of The Yellow Stereo and Cable & Tweed came together to bring us a live cover by Chicago's Panda Riot. This happened to coincide with the actual panda riot that occurred this weekend in Williamsburg. Coincidence? I think not.

I don't know this Josh Jones character, but I heard his cover last week when I randomly decided to look at this guy's blog. It's so pretty that it should be in Sony Bravia commercials or some junk.
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BONER TRACK: PANDA RIOT - Paper Planes (Live M.I.A. cover) (Z - YSI)
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viernes, agosto 15, 2008

passion pit: audience critique.

dl: PASSION PIT - Live To Tell The Tale (Live Studio) (Z - YSI)
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Passion Pit have been getting hyped up the ass hardcore recently, and I have nothing new to say about them right now. Their show at Pianos was pretty spectacular, and I highly recommend checking them out on the 20th or 27th if you're in NYC (particularly if you like dancing in crowded rooms where no one else is dancing). Sound Bites has a review of the show, along with a video of the band performing "Sleepyhead" and "Smile Upon Me". I took a different approach to reviewing the show and took this opportunity to write my first post on AUDIENCE CRITIC.
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jueves, agosto 14, 2008

french horn rebellion: up all night.

dl: FRENCH HORN REBELLION - Up All Night (Z - YSI)
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I don't really know where I stand on French Horn Rebellion yet. I'm usually a sucker for cute electro-pop jams, and "Up All Night" certainly fits that description. It's even got a cute little video that's borderline cute-obnoxious. Therein lies my problem with French Horn Rebellion. It's almost cute overload, and I'm not talking about no interspecies snorgling. As a rule, I only allow cute electro-pop jams to last no more than 4 minutes (with some exceptions). Clocking in at 4:14, "Up All Night" is a rulebreaker. But it's so damn catchy that it may just be one of those exceptions.

French Horn Rebellion is a duo composed of brothers Robert and David Perlick-Molinari. Robert is majoring in French horn, which I didn't even realize people could major in. David produces shit in New York, notably MGMT's Time To Pretend EP. They're going on tour and all my NYC-heads should mark their calendars for September 12th @ Lit Lounge. Speaking of New York, they also did a remix of Brooklyn duo This Is Ivy League's "London Bridges", which may or may not be better than the original. I'll let you decide since I didn't put on my decision-face this morning.

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BONER TRACK: THIS IS IVY LEAGUE - London Bridges (French Horn Rebellion remix) (Z - YSI)
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BONER TRACK II: THIS IS IVY LEAGUE - London Bridges (Z - YSI)
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miércoles, agosto 13, 2008

michelle williams: best day ever.

dl: MICHELLE WILLIAMS - Stop This Car (SloDown PenPal remix) (Z - YSI)
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I'm pretty sure Boulangerie must have some unintentional agenda to destroy any blog cred I've established over the past two years, as she somehow provoked me into taking my lunch to go to a meet-and-greet for Michelle Williams (the one from Destiny's Child, not Dawson's Creek). Actually, I blame a certain blacktress for being an enabler to my Destiny's Child addiction. That's right, I said "my" addiction. Boulangerie can't be blamed for this. I have a problem. And the first step to solving such a problem...is, um, writing about it on your blog?

My story today is a period piece. Picture it. New Jersey. Summer of 1999. A young man is sitting on the basement couch watching Black Entertainment Television. He is on a threeway telephone call with his two best friends, but the screen is split into fours with one panel showing the music video for Destiny's Child's "Bills, Bills, Bills". One of the three boys, we'll call him Kai Ull, comments on how smokin' Kelly (Rowland) looks. Jay chips in, "Pssh, everyone knows Beyonce is the hottest." And then the last of the trio chimes in with, "I like the red-haired one."

The "red-haired one" was LaTavia Roberson. My reasons for liking her were pretty simple. She had red hair. She was sassy. Now, let it be known that Latavia and I have history. This one time, we held hands. It was for less than a second, some would call it a handshake, but it was one of the best less-than-a-seconds of my life. I will cherish it forever.

You could guess that I was heartbroken when LaTavia (whatever LeToya) was replaced in 2000. Who were those random chicks in the "Say My Name" video? What the fuck did they do with my LaTavia? Farrah Franklin? Michelle Williams? WTF?

When Farrah was dismissed from the group, Michelle's personality became incredibly prominent. She gave a voice to the sassiness that LaTavia previously just embodied, and she easily became my new favorite member of the group. I was pumped when I first heard Michelle's vocals on "Survivor". There's a scratchy timbre to her singing voice that made DC a teensy bit edgier. A little bit of grit, you know?

I never got into Michelle's gospel work, so I was excited to hear about her first "secular" project. The leak of a snippet from "Stop This Car" only continued to fuel (puns!) my excitement. I'm kind of over Stargate's midtempo "Irreplaceable"-knockoff tired-ass sound, but Michelle's voice really fit the production. Despite the positive reception of this track, the first single wound up being a dance tune called "We Break The Dawn", which recently topped Billboard's Hot Dance Airplay charts. Funny thing is...I don't think it's even touched the Hot 100. This makes no sense given that the song channels the same euro-pop vibe of hits like Rihanna's "Don't Stop The Music" and Chris Brown's "Forever". I'm not sure if hope is lost for "Dawn", but I have my fingers crossed that it'll be a late bloomer like Ne-Yo's "Closer" (at #10 upon writing this).

I like to think that Tenitra* is my new best friend. Despite being a half hour late to her appearance, she hopped in like she knew everyone in the world since middle school. There's nothing diva about her, despite being a former member of the best-selling female group of all time. After her interview with Hillary Crosley of Billboard, she signed autographs, took photos with fans, and then signed even more autographs for people's children. I know that's what she's supposed to do and all, but she didn't make it come off as an obligation and even endured some minor groping (some would call it hugging) from a few male fans. Long story short, she is one humble motherfucker.

Here are some highlights from the interview, which should be appearing soon on Billboard.com...

  • Much like me, Michelle doesn't understand why radio isn't down with "We Break The Dawn". She compared it to other upbeat songs by Danity Kane or The Pussycat Dolls, which I didn't really get at all...but, um, at least we can both agree on that, Tenitra!
  • Michelle got incredibly awkward when asked about Beyonce's new material. Crosley asked her if it was anything like her new stuff. Michelle squirmed around a bit, finally uttering a response, "It's...different." She followed up by affirming the hotness of B's new tunes. I prefer Solange's method of dealing with Beyonce questions---“I get asked about Beyoncé all the time but I try and make fun of it. Sometimes I say she’s not my sister. Other times I say I’ve stuffed her in my suitcase and sent it to Dubai."
  • "The Greatest" will be the second single released from the album, produced by "Lollipop" producer Jim Jonsin. Michelle refused to reveal any details about the video, only stating that it will be "beautiful". Another single "Hello Heartbreak" will be released simultaneously, targeted towards the dance/club demographic.
  • Originally, Michelle wasn't going to record "Stop This Car" because she thought the lyrics were too corny.
  • Michelle's new haircut is totally cute.
  • According to Michelle, there are no official plans for Destiny's Child to reunite. She said something along the lines of, "We wouldn't have called the last album Destiny Fulfilled if we planned to make another." Though there haven't been any discussions yet, it appears that the group would only reunite for a tour in the future. This would not be out of obligation, but for the love and sisterhood that they share. Michelle believes that said tour would only occur after they all have babies, so let's not get our hopes up quite yet!
  • This has nothing to do with yesterday, but "Nasty Girl" is an amazing video. There are so many skanks that I've seen who I'd throw into a "nasty zapper".
Photographic evidence, in case you doubt me. THANK YOU SO MUCH, SOJO!!

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* Michelle's real name. Rumor has it that Matthew Knowles made her change it because it was too "hood". This may also explain why he got rid of LaTavia. Because "LaTavia, can you handle this?" just didn't sound right.

PREVIOUSLY ON ITMS!!:
SoJo's really awesome story about Solange and a bedazzled cast, along with a remix of "Lose My Breath" by DGENETICS. Check it!!

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viernes, agosto 08, 2008

allegra: dream house & comic book luv.

dl: ALLEGRA - Dream House (Z - YSI)
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You've probably realized that I have no shame if you've been reading this blog long enough. Even if I'm a Katy Perry loathing pop music elitist, I've been known to rock out to Ashley Tisdale when nobody is looking. When nobody is looking? I suppose it should be clarified that when I say "I have no shame", I mean that if you caught me engaging in such rocking out...I would curl up into a little ball and cry. Or I'd just tell you about my alter-ego. She is a teenage girl named Boulangerie, the lost little sister of Beyonce and Solange Knowles. She is the ultimate excuse for my affinity for all things grown men should be ashamed of loving. Keep her in mind as you read this post.

Allegra, a 17 year-old from Chicago who is fortunate to not be named Valtrex, has found a special place in my...um, Boulangerie's heart. I received an e-mail about her new single "Comic Book Luv". On this tune, our heroine calls for a man who's "strong like the Hulk" to love her, lamenting that she's "so sick and tired of evil villains" toying with her emotions. Sure, one could consider this a little contrived, but let's keep in mind that the subject matter is appropriate for a 17 year-old girl to sing about. However, The Gift's production on this song is a little too "grown & sexy" and inappropriate, recalling the baby-making, hip-gyrating properties of "Bed" (J. Holiday) and "Falsetto" (The Dream). On one hand, this is a compliment, as The Gift's production is (overall) on par with such in-demand producers as Tricky Stewart and Polow Da Don. But the other hand realizes that there's nothing Lolita about Allegra's comic book fantasies, unless one considers the line
"I can be the Robin to his Batman" as a reference to butt secks. Jokes aside, this is a refreshingly age-appropriate track for a young singer, and it appears that Lil Mama and Teyana Taylor have some competition.

With all that said, "Comic Book Luv" wasn't the song that won me over on Allegra. Two other songs were in the e-mail I received, "Get Wit It" and "Dream House". The latter chronicles Allegra's quest for the Ken to her Barbie. She has everything (a dream house, small waist, closet full of clothes, etcetera), but the one thing missing from her life is a man. Okay. Obviously this isn't the most conceptually mind-blowing song and it's contrary to the whole "I don't need a man to be happy" mantra established by Destiny's Child and similar groups in 1999-2000, but Allegra admits it---"I'm real, not realistic". Truer words have never come out of a teenager's mouth in reference to the general teenage population. Practicality isn't a teenage forte. Some teenagers can have everything, but the absence of one thing---whether it be the latest sneakers, that blouse from Anthropologie, or (in this case) a significant other---can signal their own personal apocalypse. Wait, I'm getting too philosophical about this, and it ain't that deep. This song is just awesome because it makes references to Aqua's "Barbie Girl". Sadly, this isn't the first time "Barbie Girl" has been mentioned on this blog. And I blame Boulangerie.

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BONUS TRACK: ALLEGRA - Comic Book Luv (Z - YSI)
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martes, agosto 05, 2008

susan susan: 7 things (miley cyrus cover).

dl: SUSAN SUSAN - 7 Things (Miley Cyrus cover) (Z - YSI)
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Since I don't have a TV in my apartment, I occasionally like to indulge in watching some awful reality television with my parents when I'm visiting in the Jerz. This guilty pleasure reached an extreme low when I got hooked on Here Come The Newlyweds, yet it mostly results in watching a few episodes of American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance? every now and then. While Idol is essentially nothing more than a glorified karaoke contest, I enjoy watching it and debating with my father over the cultural relevance of Carrie Underwood and Fantasia Barrino. However, I was not enjoying Idol when this happened...

"Wow. That's pretty awesome. That song could be on a movie soundtrack right now. It really could. And who knows? Maybe it just will."---Paula Abdul commenting on David Cook's cover of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby"

This is the performance she was commenting on. BLECK! But while we're on the subject of cover songs that could appear on movie soundtracks, let's talk about Denver duo Susan Susan's cover of Miley Cyrus tune "7 Things". Oh sure, it's not like this cover could pop up in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, but I have a very clear image of an imaginary (kind of lame) indie movie with Jena Malone in it. She plays an emotionally unstable teenager, and in this particular scene she is riding a red bicycle down a country road after a particularly embarrassing encounter with her love interest. The song stops when her bike crashes, and as she's lying on the ground she experiences some sort of epiphany on the depth of life. Then she cries and shit.

You see, I had a total crush on The Mae Shi's cover of the awesomely self-referential Cyrus jam "See You Again", but it seemed too self-aware that it's an ironic indie cover. I can't quite tell how sincere dear ol' Billy and Lindsay's "7 Things" cover is, but as trite and Paula Abdul as this sounds---they really make the song their own without throwing away too many aspects of the original, right down to the introductory "Sha"s. They manage to take a bratty tween love anthem and turn it into something quirky but not quirky-annoying. And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, they bring out a brief vocal mash-up with Carly Simon's "You're So Vain", likely referencing Nick Jonas. Maybe I'm just being Miley. Or maybe this is awesome.

The cover was created for the Denver Show & Tell Project, in which a pool of Denver "bands/musicians/noise makers/friends" come together to make songs within certain guidelines. I believe July's theme must have been to cover a top 10 pop song, as you can listen on the page to Denver locals' reinterpretations of Rihanna, Katy Perry, Coldplay, Natasha Bedingfield, Leona Lewis, and Usher. This months theme is "collaboration song", and Susan Susan appears to be on board to contribute once again. Apparently they're sort of obligated to contribute because they created it. But as they say "not obligated in a bad way, because it's fun". If you're in Denver and happen to make sounds with your mouth or instruments, you should experience such fun!

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viernes, agosto 01, 2008

tyskerhar: 5 combo hit.

dl: TYSKERHAR - 5 Hit Combo (Z - YSI)
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Tyskerhar is a duo composed of Ms. Mao Dou Mao of Beijing on vocals and Seek Zag Lazer of Berlin on beats. They've just released their new album Forever and debuted three new tracks on the space. I'm a little torn over the new material. On one side, these are some completely enjoyable songs to shake your ass to. On the other hand, I feel like that annoying old lady who lives next door and wants "those darn kids" to turn the music down. It's all a little too boisterous for me, and I'd like to see Tyskerhar embrace their full range of sound (that's evident on more mellow, minimal songs like "Interplanetarian Tai Chi" and "Chinese Nipplez"). Sure, the other tracks may have been less subtle about their slightly problematic racial marginalization, but the more important issue here lies in one simple question---does everything always have to be about bangers?
  • "Well, all I hear all day long is how great bangers are at this or how wonderful bangers did that. Bangers, bangers, bangers!"--- Jan Brady, circa 10 minutes ago
  • "I am deeply offended by this post. Some of my best friends are bangers."---some white kid who went to Wesleyan or Bard and feels sad about their white privilege
  • "pig robots will be big in 2k11, and ur a FGGT."---hipster runoff
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BONER TRACK: TYSKERHAR - Interplanetarian Tai Chi (Z - YSI)
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