IT'S THE MONEY SHOT!!

working towards an intellectual understanding of booty chatter.

lunes, enero 26, 2009

little pictures: small voices remix.

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I can't really explain what's so appealing about this remix. I mean, it's not as if there's anything particularly unappealing about it. Musically, it's a little repetitive, resulting in a hypnotic haze that I just can't shake.

So without further ado, I present Small Voices with the Blogger's Choice Award in the Little Pictures remix contest. What does this mean? Bragging rights. And you get to borrow my imaginary best friend Muffy for a day.
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martes, enero 20, 2009

little pictures: remix contest runner-ups (part one).

I'm the worst blogger ever. Who holds a remix contest and doesn't announce the winners until nearly a month after intended? I do. But whatevs, I'm a blogger-being, not a damn internet messiah. Below are some runner-ups for the Little Pictures "This House Can Fit Us All" remix contest. You'll notice that the majority of them are electro-tinged, heading towards an "up in the club" direction. You'll also notice a common trend among the two winners and the grand prize winner, but you're going to have to wait at least a week to hear those!

This House Can Fit Us All (Command Click remix) (alt): While this take is very electro, it doesn't tread down predictable banger territory. In other words, there are some weird-ass sounds incorporated. Unfortunately, some of the sounds and the general dissonance stresses me out. I say that with no malicious intent (some of my favorite songs stress me out a little). If I were drunk, I'd flop like a muppet to this.

This House Can Fit Us All (J.A.M.I.E. remix) (alt): What if band members Mark and Johanna were robbed of their hearts and turned into total robot-faces? Would they still be able to love? Would they still be able to rock? I bet their songs would sound something like this.

This House Can Fit Us All (Doppler Effect remix) (alt): If I were the kind of person who liked to dance on tables in my underwear alongside a chick dressed as Princess Jasmine and a giant chicken, this is the remix I'd be dancing to. Wall-E would serve us shots of absinthe laced with awesome, and then he'd do body shots off of Cinderella. Then Eve (the robot, not the rapper) would roll up with an entourage of misfit robots, and they'd massacre the shit out of Cindy down to her glass slippas. We'd keep dancing.

This House Can Fit Us All (TechnoBears remix) (alt): I have to admit, I was really excited about the TechnoBears remix based on the name alone. I had this image of Care Bears spinning records in the clouds and twirling glowsticks. This remix couldn't live up to such high expectations. Don't get me wrong. It does have a certain banger appeal, but nothing in this world could be as good as candy raver Care Bears, you know?

This House Can Fit Us All (Cat Tucker House Piano remix) (alt): With no disrespect to the remixer, my favorite moments of this remix are the minimal bits. Much like some of Command Click's sounds, that piano stresses me out.

This House Can Fit Us All (JustDima remix) (alt): If PacMan had a party, he'd totally DJ from an iPod, and this remix would be on the party playlist. While that makes it sound like this song has some crazy Atari sounds happening, it really has nothing of the sort. I'm just sayin'... this would be the perfect song to get your ghost friends drunk to. And then eat them.

This House Can Fit Us All (RomeyBoy remix) (alt): This is probably the most commercially viable remix, except it probably wouldn't speak to actual Little Pictures fans. I could see this getting a club moving right in between dance remixes of Jordin Sparks' "No Air" and Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body", except the club kids would be confused as hell about the original song.

This House Can Fit Us All (hEADaCHE remix) (alt): I don't know if the creator of this remix did his research, but if they ever read this blog... ze would know that I love short songs. This was the shortest entry, coming closest to the length of the actual song. I applaud.

This House Can Fit Us All (Panther Hands remix) (alt): At the one minute mark of this remix, this overwhelming party happens. It's like that scene in Mean Girls where Cady gets cheese and crackers for a few people and then some mega alcoholic slut party goes down in her living room. Except at our party we didn't throw up in Aaron Samuels' lap. We made out in a closet six times.

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lunes, enero 19, 2009

head like a kite: daydream vacation.

dl: HEAD LIKE A KITE f/ ASYA of SMOOSH - Daydream Vacation (alt)
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There was a hot minute in my life when Smoosh was my favorite band in existence. For the duration of that minute (which I dropped, given that it was hot), the band consisted of two pre-teen girls named Chloe and Asya. There was just something so magical about these two little girls making such glorious pop tunes. I mean, while they were recording their first full-length album, other girls their age would have been watching Lizzie McGuire. Or like, playing with power tools? Fuck gender norms y'all.*

Without my Smoosh obsession, I would have never encountered Head Like A Kite. And if I hadn't been doing research for a piece I wrote for CinemaBlend, I would never have realized that they released another album. Not only that, but this album includes yet another collaboration with Asya from Smoosh. They first joined forces for "Noisy at the Circus", a tune on HLAK's 2006 debut album Random Portraits of the Home Movie, and the follow up is the slightly darker "Daydream Vacation". I honestly can't decide which I prefer, and I hate to admit it... But I think I only really love Head Like A Kite when Asya's singing. Can't they just put her in the band? ::sigh::
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BONER TRACK: HEAD LIKE A KITE f/ ASYA of SMOOSH - Noisy At The Circus (alt)
BONER TRACK II: SMOOSH - Rad (alt)
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* I'm not saying this because girls should be able to play with power tools. I'm saying this because I watched Lizzie McGuire all the fucking time. I have this secret dream that Lalaine (Miranda Sanchez) is going to have an Emancipation of Mimi-style comeback. Remember when she tried to have a music career? Remember when her character committed suicide on a season seven episode of Buffy? Remember when she did CRYSTAL METH? My mind is blown, and I love that this post was an excuse for me to write a whole lot about motherfuckin' Lalaine Vergara-Paras. She's my favorite actress in the history of everything.

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viernes, enero 16, 2009

fol chen: no wedding cake.

dl: FOL CHEN - No Wedding Cake (alt)
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Now I was jumping for motherfucking joy when I heard Fol Chen's "No Wedding Cake" last month, so you can understand how I felt when I received an mp3 in my inbox today. I motherfucking jumped for joy again. Ten times.

And that was just the beginning. While the video for "The Believers" was totally deep and interesting, it can't hold a damn candlestick in comparison to the "No Wedding Cake" video. All the whack-ass bloggers creaming their panties over that whack-as-fuckin'-ass Fever Ray video need to check themselves. This is the best indie video of 2009 so far.

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miércoles, enero 14, 2009

yung trev + m.i.a: bonafide hustla

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"Hump-Hop Hooray" is the latest regular series here. Every Wednesday, I'll be bringing you a different hip-hop track, new or old, for your hump day consideration.

I don't normally like to post tracks that I don't enjoy, but I felt like this is one that deserves to be discussed. I'm not crazy about Maya and Santi being adopted as hip-hop's hottest gals to sample. While I know it's a great way for artists like T.I. and Jay-Z to get serious hype from the indie-blog world, those samples were annoying as fuck. Seriously. "Paper Planes" was a great fucking song, but I dread hearing the line "No one on the corner got swagga like us" every time I hear it. That's not even considering that the term "swagga" somehow sound as dated as "homie"...

But I digress. Yung Trev is the latest rapper to jump on the M.I.A.-sampling bandwagon. His flow isn't particularly impressive, at best reflecting a second-rate Too $hort, but I have to give him credit for taking the initiative to sample something aside from the "swagga" line. When I say that "he" took the initiative, I literally mean that he produced this track.

Now, I don't like this beat. I don't like his flow. I don't ever want to listen to this song. But I do think that sampling the line "bonafide hustla making my name" was a smart move, with the potential to provide a relatively timeless hip-hop reference instead of latching onto trendy slang. ::sigh:: If only his production skills and lyrical skills could match his ideas.

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lunes, enero 12, 2009

siik: single ladies remix.

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I made the exciting graphic you see above for work a while back, and I've been looking for an excuse to repost it. Thankfully, Mixtape Maestro reminded me that I should never take my eyes off of siik.org, posting an excellent "remix" of "Single Ladies".

I say "remix" since Siik's work leans more towards blend or mash-up. It's all either hit or near-miss, but the good ones make you hear songs in entirely different ways. Placing Sasha up in the club with Talib Kweli gives the song a bit of an Amerie vibe, and I mean that in the most complimentary way.

Don't forget to check out Siik's takes on T-Pain & Brandy. They're also delicioso, even if the woozy Weezy part is cut out of the former.
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BONER TRACK: Can't Believe It (siik remix) (alt)
BONER TRACK II: I Wanna Be Down (siik remix) (alt)
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domingo, enero 04, 2009

cof cof: third.

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Listen up. I have an extremely important announcement--we have to make Cof Cof famous immediately. The Spanish duo recently revealed that they are actually a trio, and their third member is being held captive until the world recognizes how awesome they are. The "third" is kept in a dark room slaving away to create the hot jams that Ana and Alex take credit for.

This is the premise of "Third", the latest track by Valencia's electro darlings. The song doesn't evoke the carefree summer sound of "Forbidden Cocktail" or "Caribbean Boy", but releasing a song like that in the middle of winter would be totally depressing. However, the sounds aren't drastically different from anything you'd hear on Who Said Party?, and the theme reflects their consistent sense of humor and quirkiness.

When I was working on the short-lived Audience Critic blog (bringing it back in '09!), I attended Cof Cof's show at Lit Lounge with the intention of writing a critique of their audience. I even took notes on a napkin, and if I will write that damn piece if I ever find said napkin. Why am I bringing this up? Well, even if I was paying a lot of attention to the audience, I did happen to notice that Cof Cof were the two cutest people on this entire planet. For that reason, I wish them fame and glory. And if they achieve it, I am going to be shocked as fuck when I discover their whole "joke" about a third member wasn't a joke at all...

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BONER TRACK: COF COF - T-Shirt (alt)
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