dgenetics: destiny's child remix.

dl: DESTINY'S CHILD - Lose My Breath (DGENETICS remix) (YSI)
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The first portion of today's post, entitled "Destiny's (Step)Child", was guest-written by a good friend of mine-- Sojourner "You Can't Handle The" Truth, a woman of color and a writer. If you enjoy the hilarity below, I suggest rubbing her blog Diary Of A Mad Blacktress all over your Google Reader.

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I have a confession: I was once a Teen People Trendspotter. Yes, I was.

This involved attending focus groups, filling out surveys, trying products for Teen People magazine. On rare occasions, I got to attend events hosted by the magazine, which was always great. The funniest thing about "trendspotting" is that, throughout high school, I had as much style as a old-tyme mammy. I wore baggy, ill-fitting clothes—including Mickey Mouse sweatshirts—and refused to wear contact lenses. And I often wore a ponytail, much like Rachel Leigh Cook in "She's All That"…only I wasn't.

Anyway, I was wearing my jazziest polo sweater when I attend the Teen People "What's Next!" concert at the Apollo Theater. Being a Harlem girl (I am a blacktress, after all), I got to stay out way past my bedtime and see such performers as Lil' Bow Wow (who I like to just call "The Wow") and Destiny's Child.

This was by far the highlight of the evening. DC performed last, and by then, half of the underage audience had gone home. I was able to sneak down to the floor level and watch the magical quartet in all of its glory. I saw them when the group consisted of Beyoncé, Kelly Rowland, Farrah Franklin and Michelle Williams. They entered to their hit, wearing purple rhinestoned ensembles that had to have been made by Tina Knowles. As they took to the stage I noticed something was off. Then Beyoncé filled us in: "Hey y'all. Kelly hurt her ankle tonight, so she can't dance, but she's here—we ain't gon' quit on ya!"

We applauded as Kelly took a seat on a stool on the far left of the stage (stage right, if you're a theater nerd) and sang her parts. The other three girls did the choreography as directed, but there was another dancer in Kelly's place, just to keep the symmetry. She didn't get a microphone, but she fit in seamlessly, also dressed in purple rhinestones. She looked familiar, and I realized who it was—SOLANGE KNOWLES!!!

Yes, y'all!! Before she went on to start her own career on the Proud Family, Solange made her own family proud by acting as a black-up dancer for Destiny's Child. She was a perfect understudy, with her moves on point and her mouth silent like the puppet she was supposed to be. To the left, Kelly belted out the tunes, in costume. As she swayed, I was temporarily blinded. Why? Well, Kelly's cast was bedazzled with rhinestones, to match their wardrobe.

I KID YOU NOT. A BEDAZZLED CAST!!! If that's not the sign of a true diva, I don't know what is!!!!

I was mesmerized. Kelly made ankle injuries the new hotness in my mind, and I reached out to touch one of them for just a moment in time. I was then rudely knocked sideways by a larger girl, who gave Beyoncé a high five as I nursed by bruised shoulder…and looked at Kelly in awe.

At that moment, I knew that Kelly Rowland would always be my boo—and Solange would always be a silent dancer.

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This story was recently recounted to me over a "Chicken Thumb Platter" at Uno's, resulting in me nearly falling off my chair at the mention of Kelly's bedazzled cast. Prior to this, I had a conversation with my gay bestie about why everyone always hates on Michelle. We agreed that her voice had the most interesting timbre of the group's membership. And *yes*...we used the word "timbre". It troubles me that these weren't the only times that I've had extensive discussions about Destiny's Child in the past months. I think I have a problem.

But you know what's not a problem? My love of Old Gold, DGENETICS, and their squad. I first heard of Old Gold through Leif and PdL. (Along with Old Gold, these two form the wondrous DJ trio Hell Yup.) After becoming obsessed with "D.O.G." (Drugged Out Girls), I was glad to see it on BIGSTEREO in May 2007. Reading this post was my introduction to DGENETICS, and "Skate With Me" slowly became an iPod favorite of mine. Listening to it often added an extra spring to my step. During the days when I thought VIRB was going to give the Space a run for their money, I came across this remix of DC's "Lose My Breath" and fell even more in love with DGENETICS.

I've actually been meaning to share some photos of Old Gold performing at DGENETICS Musics' pre-CMJ showcase, and now seems like an appropriate time to do so. And oh...It should also be noted that DGENETICS has a remix of Old Gold's "D.O.G." available on iTunes.

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BONER TRACK: THIEVES LIKE US - Drugs In My Body (DGENETICS Junkie remix) (YSI)

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