muffy: gone hate.

dl: MUFFY - Gone Hate (alt)
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Two things I try to never do--post videos and be "that guy" who posts conversations with his co-blogger. Whatever, this sums up the entire song. I love Muffy so hard.

JJ: Muffy's "Gone Hate". Discuss.
C: BANGLADESH!
JJ: ALL THESE BITCHES THEY HATE ME CAUSE I PUT MY NEW WEAVE IN. I kind of love how bad it is.
C: Muffy and Riskay need to do a track...
JJ: Hahaha, I NEED to be posting Muffy right now. It's what I live for.
CC: ...and they should be roommates, live in a blinged out doublewide.
JJ: Haha
C: I like the beat though.
JJ: I KNOW. I mean, it's Bangladesh.
C: ...and as someone who likes vagina, can i say that video is chock full of very unattractive women.
JJ: Haha, remember when Khia first came out with "My Neck, My Back"?
C: Yeah
JJ: It was so funny...
C: I like the shot of Bangladesh in the john with his mixer...
JJ: ...I don't think there were many chicks in that video...
C: I bet he totally wrote this beat while taking a shit.
JJ: ...but NONE OF THE GUYS were touching her in that video.
C: Hahaha, Khia was probably being a diva..."these n***as is gross." And they were secretly "Thank god."
JJ: Saving herself for Weezy
C: I like how he's drinking out of a glass from Target. I totally have those glasses.
JJ: Hah, ballerrrr.
C: Seriously. They're the discount glasses from Target, like the low end glass ones. Ten bucks for four.
JJ: Didn't he get a check for "A Milli"? Seriously. Guess he's just thrifty.
C: Hey, we're in a recession. Even ballas gotta cut back.

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- SPACE IT -

um, queen of the south?

Well, half of this internet doesn't even know who I am, and the other half only like me because I gave them a bunch of old MGMT songs. So that's not good. To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Queen of the South Chronicles, I'm really sorry. You know, I've been writing this blog for over two years, and when I think about how many people wanted that crown...and how many people cried over it, put out mixtapes and stuff...I mean, I think every bitch looks like they could be the baddest tonight. Look at Trina. That ass is amazing. And La Chat, I mean, your new album must have taken hours. And it's probably pretty good. So...why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just...

::Queen of the South crown breaks::

Share it. A piece for Princess, a partial Southern Queen. A piece for Trina. And a piece for Khia. She was once reported to be killed by her boyfriend because she gave him AIDs, and she still looks like a rap star. Thank you. And some for the rest of yall. Except for Jacki-O. You ain't gettin' shit.

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KHIA - Wacki-O (YSI): It's almost hip-hop sacrilege that Khia jumped on the "Hit Em Up" beat. It's a bold move, almost a little inappropriate given the background of the original tune. However, Khia brings a comedy to her diss track. From what I understand, this version of the track was released after Jacki-O and her crew wore "Fuck Khia" t-shirts to the Ozone Awards. Towards the end of the track, she thanks them for the free promotion. It's funny because despite not being loved by everyone, Khia has remained relevant among the pop-culture crowd for the controversy she stirs up. I guarantee that half of those same people can't even name a Jacki-O single. Hell, I can't even name a Jacki-O single.

KHIA - Whistle On It (YSI): The description of this song isn't suitable for children or the weak of heart. You were warned...The moment I heard this song's title, I got a really vivid (ew) image of someone whistling onto a vagina. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary coming from someone who once spit the lines "Pussy leaking like a faucet, won't you come and fix it?" and "How you sucking on my pussy like a chicken bone...cause I'm gonna blow on your dick like a saxophone" I'm not the only person who thinks like this. When I told my friend that one of Khia's new songs was called "Put That Pussy On His Ass" he replied, "It's like a vagina giving someone's ass a rimjob." But that's not the point here. "Whistle On it" is actually a pretty incredible song, somehow managing to incorporate southern rap trends while transcending above them. With a combination of porno samples, playground handgames, and XXX verses, this is the perfect jam for your next dance party...or, um, that strip club you own. NASTI MUSIK 'O8!!

TRINA - Killing You Hoes (Twice As Nice remix) (YSI): For some reason, Khia likes to say that her new album Nasti Muzik is "the best pussy you eva had in your life!!" Trina would beg to differ. On this remix of a track from Still Da Baddest, Trina states that she "got the best pussy out, and there ain't nothing you can do about it." I don't really understand why these two debate over the superiority of their Cindy Va-Loo-Hoos, but I enjoy listening to them do so.

TRINA f/ MISSY ELLIOTT - I Got A Bottle (YSI): This is one of those rare songs by Trina in which she doesn't mention her ass or poon, but somehow manages to turn out a great party song. I say this with an extreme bias because I hate when Trina makes love-related songs. You can't claim to be "the baddest bitch" with that sort of vulnerability, you know? Though this was rumored to be the first single from the album, it was shelfed for two lame love-related songs. Luckily, the doggy-style anthem "Look Back At Me" will be released as her next single. According to such reliable sources as wikipedia, the music video will be debuting tomorrow.

PRINCESS f/ LIL WAYNE - Throne (YSI): With the help of a sample from "Stuntin' Like My Daddy", Princess of Crime Mob subtly makes her claim for the crown. This track can be summed up by the line, "friendly competition, yeah it is, but I'ma win it still." While I love the antagonistic bitchiness that Khia and Trina bring to the table, it's refreshing to see some positive energy among these ladies.

PRINCESS - A Milli (YSI): I originally was going to include "Pretty Rave Girl" with this post, but I know all of you were wondering where you could find another "A Milli" freestyle.

GANGSTA BOO - Queen of the South (YSI): I've been in love with former Three Six Mafia member Gangsta Boo ever since "Where Dem Dollars At?", but my love grew even stronger when I somehow got linked off of VIBE.com's blog and VH1's Best Week Ever blog after featuring her. On this tune, Ms. Lola Mitchell doesn't just claim the title of queen of the south. She just takes the title, as if it is obvious that it's been hers all along. I really like this quote from her, even if it makes me a little confused as to why she recorded this song---"I’ve already been gold. I’ve already been on multi-platinum albums. Outkast, Lil’ Jon and all of that. So, why would I focus on a female that has not sold one record, who calls herself the queen of the South? What up? Do your thing, but I consider us all queens. I swear to God. I do not look at little “mini-me’s” as my competition."

LA CHAT & GANGSTA BOO - I'd Rather Get Some Bread (YSI): On this track, the two former female members of Three Six Mafia jump on their old group's track. It's not a diss-track, it's a female version.

LA CHAT f/ MURPHY LEE - Do Ya Dance (YSI): Admittedly, I've always been disappointed by La Chat's production. I find the sound of her low, drawl flow intriguing, but I've yet to hear a solo track that really suits her. Whatevs, yay for Memphis.

RISKAY - Fuck Boi (YSI): This has been my guilty pleasure for the past week or two. The intro line "Oh no she didn't! Oh yes she did!" reminds me of how I felt when I first heard "Smell Yo Dick". I think Riskay's is far from being eligible as a queen of the south, she's come a long way since those skanky photos with the lollipop. Good work cleaning up, girl!

MISS KEKE - Debit Or Credit (YSI): I posted the original version of this track last year, and I don't really understand why they gave it a makeover. There was a playful, cartoonish quality to the original that matched the ridiculous concept of the song. Miss Keke seems to be taking herself too seriously here, but I still hope she can manage to sneak in and nab a tiny piece of that crown.

RASHEEDA - A Milli (YSI): Because you needed another one?

ANQUETTE - Throw That P (YSI): In 1986, Anquette popped up on the Miami scene with their response to 2 Live Crew's "Throw That D". I suppose longevity of career would be required for them to have any claim to the crown, but I thought an honorable mention for them and L'Trimm was quite necessary.

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DOWNLOAD ZIP OF UM, QUEENS OF THE SOUTH? (YSI)

khia: lil wayne remix/cover thing.

dl: KHIA - Lollipop (Lil Wayne sort-of-cover) (YSI)
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I was walking around on a very sunny, beautiful day in a mysterious location in the south. I found myself hanging out with Trina again, because we're apparently such good friends now. Or are we? Apparently not, as we get into a pretty violent fight. I punch her in the stomach and say something like "I wish you were pregnant", and then I tell her that I can rap better than her. In an attempt to prove me wrong, she starts reciting verses from one of her new songs. For some reason, I can not rap back.

Flash forward. We are standing on an elevated platform next to a glistening fountain. The air is crisp, like a nice day at the beach. Trina is near tears, explaining to me all the pressure she's under and that it's not her fault that the label released two kind-of-lame songs as singles from Still Da Baddest. She asks to hear some of my new stuff, and I blush while telling her that it isn't really recorded yet. I say to her, "I just haven't been on my writing game to the degree that I was on 'House Party'. I mean, working a 9-5...there isn't much time to focus on silly rap music." She turns her head away sadly in a dramatic effect not too dissimilar to that of a telenovela. I try to explain to her that I'm not judging her for her lifestyle or career choice, but it's just how I feel.

Flash forward again. Trina and I are walking hand-in-hand through a lush field with colorful flowers. I look over to her and smile--"Even though you're a bitch, I still kind of like you." She smiles back and says, "I like you too." Throughout our time together, Trina evolves from a straight-up hoodrat looking chick to a dignified lady with the glow of a Disney princess.

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This is the dream I had last night, coincidentally the day after I downloaded Khia 's version of Lil Wayne's "Lollipop". Now I wouldn't call myself religious, but this almost seems as if this dream was an intervention from a higher power that's going to seriously fuck around with the Queen Of The South Chronicles. After hearing this song, her latest single "Be Yo Lady", and her appearance on VH1's Miss Rap Supreme, I am officially revoking Khia's "queen of the south" crown.

Some of you may be wondering why the fuck she had the crown in the first place. You can read about that in my original post about the subject. Now back to talking about "Lollipop".

Reasons why this version is terrible:

1. Khia's obsession with Lil Wayne is absurd. He obviously does not want her neck or her back, and especially not her crusty-ass pussy or crack. I mean, I don't mind Khia talking about her crusty pussy, but I don't like the mental image of Lil Wayne's mug all UP in her muff. The only thing I want to think about that mouth doing is spitting out great verses (and occasionally terrible verses). The only way he'd ever sleep with Khia is if he was under the influence of more than merely the syrup he's addicted to. I hate myself for saying this, but in the spirit of the recently released Sex And The City movie, I want to tell Khia..."He's just not that into you."
2. Khia once stated that she came up without the help of men. So now she's trying to capitalize off of the success of a man? Lame, Khia. Lame.
3. "Lollipop" is already a terrible song.
4. Despite mostly mediocre verses, Khia's past involved rapping. Recently it just seems like she's become this clownish cartoon version of herself, doing these weird sing-songy vocals. If the sing-songy thing isn't working for Kimberly, it won't work for you, my dear Khia. Perhaps you ought to just take off your big red clown shoes altogether, eh?
   

Redeeming factors of this song:

1. I can't help but love that she stole her melody from Shirley Temple's "On The Good Ship Lollipop". I was exposed to this song in my childhood thanks to my late and totally great aunt, and while I can't help but think that she's rolling over in her grave uncomfortably as I write this post...Khia's usage of it is just kind of brilliant.
2. "Lollipop" is already a terrible song, so Khia really couldn't do much damage here.
   

Admittedly, Khia's version is growing on me. But that doesn't mean she's getting her crown back. Clearly my dream was a sign that I need to hand it over to Trina.

In my own world, I'd star in a show on VH1 where I'd give female hip-hop and R&B stars career makeovers. It'd be called something like Queer Ears For Da Bad Bitch, featuring Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, anyone who's ever crossed Beyonce's path, and of course Trina. In the first episode, Ms. Katrina Laverne Taylor and I would sit down and map out the details for her follow-up to Still Da Baddest. With our powers combined, we'd create a tracklist that'd be the hip-hop equivalent of The Vagina Monologues. It'd be like the Spice Girls "girl power" thing for a new generation, but we'd call it "pussy power". Women everywhere from Miami to Japan would proudly pump their hands in the air in a V-shape declaring how much they love their va-hey-heys. The album's sales would reach numbers that no one thought were still possible in this day and age. I can dream, right?

Khia wouldn't be invited to be on my show. She's a lost cause at this point.

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- BUY IT - SPACE IT - HYPE IT - WIK IT -

khia: be yo lady.

dl: KHIA - Be Yo Lady (YSI)

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I'm disappointed in you Thug Misses. Your "Queen of the South" crown is about to get revoked.

gangsta boo: queen of the south chronicles (continued).

GANGSTA BOO (born Lola Mitchell) is the queen of the south. Or at least she thinks she is.

"I'm hearin' a lot of them hoes claim that motherfuckin' title. Well, you know what bitch? I'm takin' that shit, bitch. It is what it is. I ain't claiming that shit, hoe. I'm telling you, bitch. I'm sayin' facts. I'm the queen of the south."

Ms. Lola Mitchell is one of four major contenders for this title. Jacki-O, Khia, and Trina are all jumping up to grab the crown. According to an interview with Hood Magazine, Mitchell has no problem with Jacki-O or Trina claiming the title of "queen of the south". In true Lindsay Lohan Mean Girls style, she proclaimed that they all hold a piece of the crown. But don't bring up Khia around her. Mitchell continues in the interview, "Khia doesn't want to fuck with me and Khia frontin' to be so damn hard, then why didn't she say shit when I called her out at the Ozone Awards."

Mitchell also has issues with Khia's attitude towards other female rappers. And she has every reason to have issues, as Khia is the most dramatic of the bunch. In the August 2006 issue of XXL Khia asked, "How can you be a queen when you are being pimped by a bunch of n***as?" She continues, "All of ‘em, Foxy and Jay-Z, Lil’ Kim and Biggie, Shawnna and DTP, Mia X and No Limit. Every big female artists that ever came out, came out under a man. How can you claim to hold the crown like that?" This comment may have hit home for Mitchell, as she started as the first and only original female member of the now all-male Oscar-winning group Three 6 Mafia.

In Mitchell's defense for the crown, she has been on the music scene since 1994 (three years longer than Trina and seven years longer than both Jacki-O and Khia). Her 1998 debut single "Where Dem Dollars At?" helped put Memphis on the map, despite making little impact on pop radio. While she may have become established with the help of Three 6 Mafia, she has since split with them and developed her own independent label. She has been grinding independently for nearly as long as Khia, so she's certainly not being pimped. On her own, she's managed to secure guest spots on several albums including Outkast, Rasheeda, and a DTP (Disturbing the Peace) compilation.

None of her albums went gold and she's not appearing on the cover of your favorite men's magazine. Her contribution to the Polow Da Don produced "Break a N***a Off" may have not made the final cut of Rich Boy's self-titled debut album. But damn, this girl is still outstanding, accomplished, and she could run circles around Jacki-O.

More importantly, Mitchell's "Queen of the South" diss is surprisingly friendly, as it doesn't seem to be directed towards any particular artist. Unlike her peers, she's above mentioning names within her songs. She's better than that...though we'll have to wait until the release of her album Forever Gangsta to see just how much better she is.

d/l: GANGSTA BOO- Queen of the South (YSI)
d/l: RICH BOY f/ SNOOP DOGG & GANGSTA BOO- Break a N***a Off (YSI)
d/l: GANGSTA BOO f/ LA CHAT- Splash (YSI)
(two tracks featuring Memphis-born female rapper)
- buy it - space it - wik it -

BLOGGER NOTE: Good Googly Moogly! Three 6 Mafia affiliate Project Pat is performing at my school. Please, whatever.

BLOGWATCH: Chazology welcomes Leif as a new contributor, starting with a post about Mapei. It's hard to find a Friend has a new live solo song by Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service. Something Velvet Blog hypes the upcoming Bishop Allen release. Copy, Right? has a cover of Paris Hilton, in honor of her recent arrest. Shameless Complacency writes about the upcoming Bonde Do Role release.

khia: so excited (hood remix).

download: KHIA- So Excited (Hood Remix) (YSI)
(Dirty, dirty south rap. I mean, very dirty.)
- buy it - space it - wik it now, wik it good -

If I hadn't made it clear before, I'm not-so-secretly obsessed with Khia, the woman behind "My Neck, My Back (Lick It Now)". Her personal version of Janet Jackson's not-so-hit single "So Excited" is one of the reasons I breathe. I can't believe I haven't shared this gem with you before. SHAME.

khia: true queen of the south.

KHIA deserves more respect from the haters. I talked about her a little earlier on this blog, but I'm actually blown away after hearing her sophomore effort Gangstress in it's entirety. She is the true queen of the south.

Sure, Trina has slayed Khia when it comes to chart status, but what I didn't realize in my last post is that Khia's first album Thug Misses outsold Trina's bestselling album Da Baddest Bitch by 40,000 units. This is all with very little outside help. On her page on the space, she states, "I stand on my own two feet. I feel like a lot of the female artists in the game have been introduced to the Hip-Hop world through men. I came out by myself. You cant really depend on people to do stuff for you, you really have to get out there and do it for yourself." She is an independent woman and she will throw her damn hands up at you.

And that's not the only thing that she'll be throwing at you. No, I'm not talking about her pussy. Or her crack. I'm talking about her FISTS...if you happen to be Trina. Well, metaphorical lyrical fists, you know? Khia has recently placed a freestyle on her space page with the somewhat-familiar title "Hit Her Up". It may be for mostly promotional reasons, but it doesn't even matter. Trina's response "What's Beef" doesn't really either...It's overall boring, plus she mispronounces Khia's name. In all honesty, I'm not even sure whose came first. Whatever...

What matters is that you would never think that Khia could rightfully make the claim for the crown of Queen of the South...but let me tell you why she is. Trina has been utilizing star power from the beginning. She would be nothing without Trick Daddy. Her albums consistently have high profile guests including (but not limited to) Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliott, Ludacris, Eve, and Rick Ross. Her upcoming album Da Baddest Bitch II boasts production from Kanye West, Scott Storch, Jazze Pha, Cool & Dre, Swizz Beatz, and Just Blaze. With support like this, she should have a few hit singles under her belt. But if you read a list of Trina's singles to the average person, they'd likely lift their eyebrow and say "huh?" You say "My Neck, My Back" to someone and they're probably going to finish the sentence for you and maybe even throw an "ew" in there.

Trina's best single "Here We Go" with Kelly Rowland reached #17 on the Billboard Hot 100. But will you care about it in 4 years? No. Will people be bumping it at their dance parties? No. Not to hate, but the only reason it placed that high on the charts was because it had Kelly on it immediately after the Destiny's Child break-up buzz. If you look at the information for the track, it has EIGHT writers including Teedra Moses, Jimmy Jam, and Terry Lewis. Chicks who are looking for street cred should not be having other people write their shit.

Khia is the polar opposite of Trina in that respect. She essentially refuses to work with anyone else but her engineers J.A. and John Miller. She wrote and produced the entire Gangstress album and released it independently off of her Thug Misses Entertainment record label. Even if the songs don't always have the hottest beats, it's an album you can listen to all the way through...which is much more than I can say of ANY of Trina's. And I've heard all three.

On top of that Trina is HOT. She has the natural advantage. It's no secret that Khia is not the prettiest girl you've ever seen. I mean, the guys in the "My Neck, My Back" video would barely even touch her. The fact that she's made it this far by herself shows that she demands a lot more respect than Trina.

In addition, I have mentioned before that Khia will appear on the second single off of Janet Jackson's upcoming album. It is impossible that it can be any worst than "Call on Me" so in Janet's book it should be a success. The video will be directed by Joseph Kahn, the man who directed the videos for Brandy and Monica's "The Boy is Mine" and Britney Spears' "Toxic". That's right. Khia will be under the lens with the same man who was there when Britney Spears was naked and covered in diamonds. With that said...

Case closed. Khia is truly the queen of the south. No diggity, no doubt.

DOWNLOAD: KHIA- Bitch Muthafucka Got Damn
DOWNLOAD: KHIA- Fucking Me Tonight

BUY Gangstress

BONUS TRACK: KHIA- Hit Her Up (Trina diss)
BONUS TRACK: TRINA- What's Beef? (Khia, B.G., Gillie diss)

BLOGGER NOTE: Best Week Ever and VIBE.com might have been feeling my post on Gangsta Boo, but she's nowhere near being queen of the south. She is the Queen of Memphis and nothing more. There ain't nothin' wrong with that. I also want to thank Travis of Bigstereo once more for sending me the link to her on the space. That's not the only link he sent me though, so stay tuned! Especially you lovely people at Best Week Ever and VIBE.

BLOGWATCH: Pound for Pound brings us a review and a few tracks off of the new Rick Ross album. Music (for robots) bumps a new cover by The Go! Team. Beauty has a review of the new Kelis album along with a few tracks that you can listen to. For your information, we probably can't be friends if you don't buy Kelis Was Here. FiftyOne:FiftyOne has a mash-up of Spankrock's "Backyard Betty" and Ratatat's "Wildcat".

khia: back from the dead, now lick it now.

KHIA was victim to one of my favorite internet rumors. Years ago, the "My Neck, My Back" (you know what comes next) rapper was said to be dead. Apparently, she had given her boyfriend AIDS and he shot her. No. She didn't give him the HIV virus. The report said she gave him AIDS. Because that's how it works when you're the self-proclaimed "Queen of the South". You can just skip ahead to AIDS!

Speaking of the "Queen of the South" title...there's a bit of a problem with that. Three ladies claim to hold this title. One of them is Khia. One of them is Jacki-O, but she does not matter at all. Khia claims that she beats Jacki-O for the title because she has sold more albums and has a larger fanbase. And she's right. While Khia has ONE single that managed to get on the Billboard charts, the Poe Little Rich Girl doesn't have any. But both of these ladies must be kidding themselves. If we're going by fanbase and albums sold, Trina blows them all away. On that note, Trina once tried to offer Khia a verse on her latest album...Khia said no. She hypothetically said something like, "Hell nah, I'm the Queen of the motherfuckin' south. But I'll record a track with your man, Lil Wayne. And Trick Daddy. But not you. Ho."

Khia is very stubborn in that sense...but you gotta give her some respect. "Jealous Girls" is the jam, even if no one else has ever heard it. The girl writes her own shit, and pushes it out all by herself. She will not be featuring any other artists on her upcoming album Gangstress because she doesn't think she needs their help to sell her product. This product is going up in value now that it's been announced that she'll be featured on the second single off Janet Jackson's upcoming album, "So Excited". Well, her product is going up in value if the song is better than that stupid Nelly/Janet collabo.

Here is a remix of the first single, "Snatch the Cat Back", you can hear the original on the space. For kicks, I've also included the unreleased Janet Jackson song "Put It On Me", produced by Rich Harrison.

OH! Take note that Khia will be releasing a book called Gangsta Love this Christmas. This is going on my list next to Wendy Williams' upcoming novel in the Ritz Harper Chronicles, Is the Bitch Dead? Wendy, if you are reading this (I can dream!)...I just want you to know that you're my hero.

DOWNLOAD: KHIA- Snatch the Cat Back (remix)
DOWNLOAD: KHIA- I'm A Queen (freestyle)

DOWNLOAD: JANET JACKSON- Put It On Me

BUY Gangstress, PRE-ORDER 20 Years Old

BLOGWATCH: Indie christoph has a remix by Spank Rock of Cansei de Ser Sexy's "Let's Make Love and Listen Death From Above". Arjan Writes has some pics from a recent Justin Timberlake show that might prove to you that he is indeed bringing sexy back. You Ain't No Picasso brings us a live set by Colin Meloy of The Decemberists. The Passion Boys have a new song out called "Robot Sexie Time". It makes me "excite chicken dance feeling".