um, queen of the south?

Well, half of this internet doesn't even know who I am, and the other half only like me because I gave them a bunch of old MGMT songs. So that's not good. To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Queen of the South Chronicles, I'm really sorry. You know, I've been writing this blog for over two years, and when I think about how many people wanted that crown...and how many people cried over it, put out mixtapes and stuff...I mean, I think every bitch looks like they could be the baddest tonight. Look at Trina. That ass is amazing. And La Chat, I mean, your new album must have taken hours. And it's probably pretty good. So...why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just...

::Queen of the South crown breaks::

Share it. A piece for Princess, a partial Southern Queen. A piece for Trina. And a piece for Khia. She was once reported to be killed by her boyfriend because she gave him AIDs, and she still looks like a rap star. Thank you. And some for the rest of yall. Except for Jacki-O. You ain't gettin' shit.

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KHIA - Wacki-O (YSI): It's almost hip-hop sacrilege that Khia jumped on the "Hit Em Up" beat. It's a bold move, almost a little inappropriate given the background of the original tune. However, Khia brings a comedy to her diss track. From what I understand, this version of the track was released after Jacki-O and her crew wore "Fuck Khia" t-shirts to the Ozone Awards. Towards the end of the track, she thanks them for the free promotion. It's funny because despite not being loved by everyone, Khia has remained relevant among the pop-culture crowd for the controversy she stirs up. I guarantee that half of those same people can't even name a Jacki-O single. Hell, I can't even name a Jacki-O single.

KHIA - Whistle On It (YSI): The description of this song isn't suitable for children or the weak of heart. You were warned...The moment I heard this song's title, I got a really vivid (ew) image of someone whistling onto a vagina. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary coming from someone who once spit the lines "Pussy leaking like a faucet, won't you come and fix it?" and "How you sucking on my pussy like a chicken bone...cause I'm gonna blow on your dick like a saxophone" I'm not the only person who thinks like this. When I told my friend that one of Khia's new songs was called "Put That Pussy On His Ass" he replied, "It's like a vagina giving someone's ass a rimjob." But that's not the point here. "Whistle On it" is actually a pretty incredible song, somehow managing to incorporate southern rap trends while transcending above them. With a combination of porno samples, playground handgames, and XXX verses, this is the perfect jam for your next dance party...or, um, that strip club you own. NASTI MUSIK 'O8!!

TRINA - Killing You Hoes (Twice As Nice remix) (YSI): For some reason, Khia likes to say that her new album Nasti Muzik is "the best pussy you eva had in your life!!" Trina would beg to differ. On this remix of a track from Still Da Baddest, Trina states that she "got the best pussy out, and there ain't nothing you can do about it." I don't really understand why these two debate over the superiority of their Cindy Va-Loo-Hoos, but I enjoy listening to them do so.

TRINA f/ MISSY ELLIOTT - I Got A Bottle (YSI): This is one of those rare songs by Trina in which she doesn't mention her ass or poon, but somehow manages to turn out a great party song. I say this with an extreme bias because I hate when Trina makes love-related songs. You can't claim to be "the baddest bitch" with that sort of vulnerability, you know? Though this was rumored to be the first single from the album, it was shelfed for two lame love-related songs. Luckily, the doggy-style anthem "Look Back At Me" will be released as her next single. According to such reliable sources as wikipedia, the music video will be debuting tomorrow.

PRINCESS f/ LIL WAYNE - Throne (YSI): With the help of a sample from "Stuntin' Like My Daddy", Princess of Crime Mob subtly makes her claim for the crown. This track can be summed up by the line, "friendly competition, yeah it is, but I'ma win it still." While I love the antagonistic bitchiness that Khia and Trina bring to the table, it's refreshing to see some positive energy among these ladies.

PRINCESS - A Milli (YSI): I originally was going to include "Pretty Rave Girl" with this post, but I know all of you were wondering where you could find another "A Milli" freestyle.

GANGSTA BOO - Queen of the South (YSI): I've been in love with former Three Six Mafia member Gangsta Boo ever since "Where Dem Dollars At?", but my love grew even stronger when I somehow got linked off of VIBE.com's blog and VH1's Best Week Ever blog after featuring her. On this tune, Ms. Lola Mitchell doesn't just claim the title of queen of the south. She just takes the title, as if it is obvious that it's been hers all along. I really like this quote from her, even if it makes me a little confused as to why she recorded this song---"I’ve already been gold. I’ve already been on multi-platinum albums. Outkast, Lil’ Jon and all of that. So, why would I focus on a female that has not sold one record, who calls herself the queen of the South? What up? Do your thing, but I consider us all queens. I swear to God. I do not look at little “mini-me’s” as my competition."

LA CHAT & GANGSTA BOO - I'd Rather Get Some Bread (YSI): On this track, the two former female members of Three Six Mafia jump on their old group's track. It's not a diss-track, it's a female version.

LA CHAT f/ MURPHY LEE - Do Ya Dance (YSI): Admittedly, I've always been disappointed by La Chat's production. I find the sound of her low, drawl flow intriguing, but I've yet to hear a solo track that really suits her. Whatevs, yay for Memphis.

RISKAY - Fuck Boi (YSI): This has been my guilty pleasure for the past week or two. The intro line "Oh no she didn't! Oh yes she did!" reminds me of how I felt when I first heard "Smell Yo Dick". I think Riskay's is far from being eligible as a queen of the south, she's come a long way since those skanky photos with the lollipop. Good work cleaning up, girl!

MISS KEKE - Debit Or Credit (YSI): I posted the original version of this track last year, and I don't really understand why they gave it a makeover. There was a playful, cartoonish quality to the original that matched the ridiculous concept of the song. Miss Keke seems to be taking herself too seriously here, but I still hope she can manage to sneak in and nab a tiny piece of that crown.

RASHEEDA - A Milli (YSI): Because you needed another one?

ANQUETTE - Throw That P (YSI): In 1986, Anquette popped up on the Miami scene with their response to 2 Live Crew's "Throw That D". I suppose longevity of career would be required for them to have any claim to the crown, but I thought an honorable mention for them and L'Trimm was quite necessary.

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