johnboy: nicole scherzinger remix.

JOHNBOY has been on my radar for a while now, though I admittedly hadn't been impressed by anything he put out until now.

The original version of Nicole Scherzinger's "Whatever You Like" f/ T.I., produced by Polow Da Don, is really grating*. Kelis was able to ride over a similar Polow beat on her song "Blindfold Me", but Nicole does not possess the edginess, swagger, or attitude to work a song like this. In her case, the beat just emphasizes how ridiculously bad her lyrics are.

Given that The Pussycat Dolls album was practically Nicole's solo album given the sheer lack of lead-vocals from other members, I was surprised at how much I hated Nicole's solo material so far. Then, as if scolding me for jumping to conclusions...Johnboy hopped in with his remix. It wasn't the lyrics or flow of "Whatever You Like" that I hated, it was the beat. This remix takes those same stupid lyrics and makes them bearable. They're still stupid, but this time they're catchy.

The chorus of "I do whatever you like" becomes appropriately robotic. Nicole is programmed to fit into our mold of pop diva. She's been waiting for this moment since before her days in Eden's Crush, and now that she's here...she's going to do whatever you like. Not what she wants to do. Whatever you like.

At first I misheard Nicole's chorus as "I do what I think you like". In that case, I didn't like what she thought I'd like until Johnboy remixed it. Reboot Nicole, and please try again.

d/l: NICOLE SCHERZINGER f/ T.I.- Whatever You Like (Johnboy remix) (YSI)
(remix of new pop tune)
- space it / space it - wik it - hype it -

EDIT: Admittedly the Polow Da Don original grew on me while writing this post.

eden's crush: nicole scherzinger is stalking me.

EDEN'S CRUSH was a girl group formed on the 2001 WB series Popstars, an American remake of the same UK series that turned out the multi-platinum girl act Girls Aloud. Unfortunately, their album sucked and they disbanded in 2002.

More importantly, Nicole Scherzinger was in this group. You may know Nicole as the lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls. I know her as a stalker.

You see, I didn't realize until last night when I was cleaning out my iTunes library that Eden Crush's album Popstars was on my computer. I don't recall ever downloading, and I certainly never bought it. Moments after this, I read a news item that Paris Hilton** was originally offered the hit Pussycat Dolls song "Don't Cha", but declined. This afternoon, I hopped in my car and the first song on the radio was "Come to Me" by Diddy featuring Nicole Scherzinger. Sure. She's not using binoculars to peer through my window, but it seems that Nicole (or her people) are flooding my life with not-so-subtle messages in a desperate attempt to gain my approval. Maybe they just really wanted me to write a blog post about her? Could I be falling into their trap?

Probably...but to throw them off a little, I decided to make this post about Eden's Crush instead of Nicole. I can't give them all they want, you know? I figured with all the hype over Diddy's new "Making the Band" project, Danity Kane, people needed a reality check. Modern girl groups never last...especially those assembled by a reality series. Either the record label is going to drop them or go under, they're going to want to pursue solo careers or acting before their fifteen minutes of fame is up, or they're just going to wind up hating one another.

The demise of most reality TV girl groups is inevitable. I don't care what producers or writers work on their albums. It is a little known fact that Prince (yes, THAT Prince) produced a track on Eden Crush's album entitled "Glamorous Life". They also had a track written by the same woman who co-wrote Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me" and Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away". Their album only managed to go Gold and only turned out one single, "Get Over Yourself".

The. Best. Song. Ever. Ok, so that's an extreme exaggeration, but you don't know how many times I want to tell people "Get over yourself goodbye!" In fact, I say this in my head all the time when in the presence of haters.

Better yet, just forget I said that. This song actually makes no sense...but it is undeniably a scrumptious slice of pop culture history. I will be sure to talk about it when VH1 calls me to be on I Love the '00s.

WATCH: Nicole Scherzinger's Popstars audition
WATCH: "Get Over Yourself" music video
WATCH: Diddy f/ Nicole Scherzinger, "Come to Me"

DOWNLOAD: EDEN'S CRUSH- Glamorous Life
DOWNLOAD: EDEN'S CRUSH- Get Over Yourself

BUY Popstars

**BLOGGER NOTE: Paris Hilton's pop music career is actually more promising than you think. "Stars are Blind" is a number one single in Hungary and Belgium, a top ten hit in seven other countries, and has charted in at least seven others (including the US). Also, Paris is a surprisingly good pop album. I'd certainly recommend buying it over Danity Kane...well, provided you forgive her for the Rod Stewart cover.

BLOGWATCH: I Guess I'm Floating brings us some "b-sides" by the 29-member super-group I'm From Barcelona. Arjan Writes has a download of the new Cazwell single "All Over My Face".