the smurfs: all i want for christmas is a smurf hat.

dl: THE SMURFS - All I Want For Christmas Is A Smurf Hat (alt)
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This is the second installment of WTF (Weird Tuesday Finds). If you missed the first post, let me bring you up to speed. This series of posts will chronicle the stranger songs that land in my lap. I'll take the good, I'll take the bad, but either way... I'll be sharing the weird with you. Bear with me, kids.

All Mariah Carey wants for Christmas is you, but The Smurfs don't give a fuck about your damn ass. They just want a Smurf hat.

I was worried that I would have a WTF track to share with you this week, but then my friend randomly sent this track from The Smurfs' 1997 album Christmas Party. When I say "Smurfs", I mean the little blue dudes from the eighties with the white hats. I swore I had a Christmas album by them back in my days of youth, but I don't recall these creepy dual pitch-shifted vocals. Can we talk about the line, "And when he puts it on he feels so trendy, cause wearing one is really where it's at"?

Okay, now listen to this song again and imagine that "Smurf hat" is a euphemism for condom. It's like putting "in bed" at the end of fortune cookies. It's predictable and sometimes it doesn't make sense, but there's always a bit of a LOL factor, no? Love it.

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BONER TRACK: THE SMURFS - Christmas With The Smurfs (alt)