track by track: still da baddest.

Shortly after entering the scene, this "hoe" was metaphorically "killed" by Trina.
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Welcome to Track By Track, in which I quite obviously put in my two cents about albums, um...track by track.

1. INTRO: "Ass? Nope. Not big enough."-- In this hugely unnecessary opening skit, we witness the construction and unveiling of the so-called "baddest bitch alive". Unfortunately for Trina, it only serves as a reminder of how processed her whole persona is.
2. STILL DA BADDEST: "Don't nann bitch want it."-- When Trina tells us that "the bitch is back", I can't help but wonder where she went in the first place. It's only been three years since she's been "gone", and even if Glamorest Life was a rather forgettable album...I'm pretty sure that her biggest hit, the Kelly Rowland-assisted "Here We Go", is still fresh on everyone's minds. With that said, my biggest problem with this song is the lack of "badness". She doesn't even mention her pussy once!
3. KILLING YOU HOES: "I got the best pussy out."-- Ah, I knew it'd be less than five minutes into the album before Trina started talking about her vagina, but I have to admit that I was a little worried for a second. This is the hardest and "baddest" track so far, but the instrumental is a little too laid back to back it up. It's more Snoop Dogg than Trina. Can I get a damn club banger?
4. SINGLE AGAIN: "Sex in a cockpit. No love, I was just another object."-- J-Roc's production on this track makes for one of the most full-sounding tracks on the album. While it turned out to be a commercial flop, I can understand why it was chosen as the first single for the album.
5. LOOK BACK AT ME (featuring Killer Mike): "Smell it like a flower, my pussy is a rose. Come a little closer, I wanna fuck your nose."-- These two lines come directly after a reference to golden showers. She successfully out-nasties her male guest Killer Mike, who relies far too much on name-dropping other rappers and celebrities. I don't know how he got away with saying, "Ass like Trina, face like Mya" on Trina's own song. Did Trina seriously not consider that a back-handed compliment?
6. I GOT A THANG FOR YOU (featuring Keyshia Cole): "Feel so right that this can't be wrong."-- The selection of "I Got A Thang For You" as the second single almost makes me physically sick. It's blatantly an attempt by her label to match the success of "Here We Go", but unfortunately it's one of the worst songs on the album. Trite lyrics, middle school crush vibe, and an absence of anything "baddest bitch"...I can't go for that! Making it even worst, Keyshia Cole's carbon-copy Mary J. Blige vocals are heavily underutilized, to the point that Cole sounds utterly subdued and bored.
7. I GOT A BOTTLE (featuring Missy Elliott): "So full, so far gone. Forgot where I parked and lost my iPhone."-- It goes without saying that I prefer when Trina has bottles rather than thangs, though I do appreciate the hilarious back-to-back placement of the two "I Got A..." songs. Even if it's just a mindless party song about getting drunk, this is hands-down the best and most memorable song on the album. Thank heavens for Missy Elliott.
8. I WISH I NEVER MET YOU (featuring Shonie): "So now it's to the left, to the left. And everything you own is on the porch, n---a step."-- This song was over for me as soon as she made a reference to Beyonce's "Irreplaceable". Also, who the hell is this Shonie character? They would have saved some money putting her on "I Got A Thang For You" instead of Keyshia Cole.
9. CLEAR IT OUT: "Media vs. celebrities, it's outrageous."-- This is like Trina's unneeded version of Britney Spears' "Piece of Me". I'm sorry if people are hating on you, Trina. Maybe instead of making a song about it, you should just start being a nicer person? Okay, I know that's a lame request. But if you're going to be the baddest bitch alive, you need to stop complaining that people don't like you. It's part of the job description to be hated, so get used to it!
10. STOP TRAFFIC (featuring Pitbull): "Green means go, yellow means slow, red means stop, now drop to the floor."-- With a title like "Stop Traffic", I expected this song to be the next "Pull Over". Unfortunately, this song is too slow to meet those expectations. And um, isn't this beat weirdly similar to "So Krispy"?
11. PHONE SEXX (featuring Qwote): "I know he was so amazed to hear me cum on the phone."-- Qwote really steals the show on this track, turning out some baby-making lines similar to J. Holiday's Bed or The Dream's "Falsetto". Someone must have had some serious sedatives in the studio because Trina sounds just as subdued as Keyshia did on "I Got A Thang For You". In some ways, this adds a soft, sexy edge to the track. I imagine that this song will give someone a boner. Someone.
12. HOT COMMODITY (featuring Rick Ross): "Up in this pussy feel better than the lottery."-- I find this chorus so hilarious because it neglects to mention that the lottery only feels good when you win it. I mean, of course being up in Trina's va-hey-hey is better than a losing lottery ticket. Even so, "Hot Commodity" is definitely a song to bump in your hoopty with the windows down.
    

FINAL WORDS: While you may think I'm being unnecessarily harsh on the Diamond Princess, but I assure you that it's only out of love. I don't care if she says that she put 150% into this album and stepped up ten notches. I want her to put in 250% and step up fifty notches. With a title like "Still Da Baddest", Trina gave herself the opportunity to show us just why she's the "baddest bitch alive" and just didn't take it.

My friend Petra once said, "That's how you know Michael [Jackson] isn't bad. If he was, he would just say it once and then kick the next person who asked." Same goes for Trina. If she were actually bad, she'd make a concept album about her pussy. But right now, I'm not convinced yet.

RECOMMENDATIONS: "Look Back At Me", "I Got A Bottle", "Hot Commodity"

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dl: TRINA - Killing You Hoes (Twice As Nice remix) (YSI)
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- BUY IT - SITE IT - SPACE IT - WIK IT - HYPE IT -

hell yup: good friday fun.

Remember. Jesus didn't die for your sins so you couldn't dance. So get ready for good times this Good Friday at Boulevard Tavern (579 Meeker Ave, map it)! With $5 all you can eat burgers, franks, and tots, you'll recall that the Lord may have left you...but he hasn't left you hungry! If you can't make it, here's a little sample of what you'll be missing out on...

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dl: HELL YUP - HONEY00RAIN (YSI)

-- DMX Krew - Honey
-- Vashti Bunyan - Come Wind Come Rain

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dl: HELL YUP - MADMUSIC (YSI)

-- Goblin (feat. Missy) - Tenebre (Hell Yup Pass That Shadow Remix)
-- Justice (Feat. M.I.A.) - Phantom (Hell Yup Bucky Done Died Remix)
-- Dan Deacon - Big Big Big Big Big

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dl: INDETERMINACYPART1 (YSI)

-- (Robert Ashley -> John Cage -> Robert Ashley) + Live-coded Beats
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- SITE IT -

mocha: anyway, you can catch me any day.

MOCHA was a rapper signed to Missy Elliott's Goldmind Inc. record label.

She first appeared in 1998 on the remix to "Hit Em Wit Da Hee", in which Timbaland sampled Bjork before I was sensible enough to listen to her. The first time I really noticed her to the point of being like, "Damn, who is that chick?", was on Nicole Wray's 1998 single "Make It Hot". After that, I coincidentally* kept running into her verses on CDs I purchased-- Timbaland's "What Cha Know About This" off Tim's Bio, Gina Thompson's "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?" off the soundtrack of the same name, Destiny's Child's "Stimulate Me" off the LIFE soundtrack, DJ Clue's "I Like Control" off The Professional, and Sporty Thievz's "Even Cheaper" off the single for their their TLC-response "No Pigeons". I owned most of her discography without even trying.** I didn't know anything about her solo album until my 8th-grade-girlfriend mentioned that she had a song featured on a Hot 97 mixtape. I was like, "Yo! You got to burn that shit for me!" She never did. Remember when we used to burn CDs to share music regularly? I do. And it makes me feel old. I'm totally not old enough to feel old.

In any case, I came across the song my 8th-grade-girlfriend once mentioned several months ago. In fact, I came across a few more songs that were recorded for her album Bella Mafia***. I was super excited.

While these came from an era when Timbaland's production was a bit more fun, they're surprisingly mediocre. "Runnin Shit" has a corny cartoon-esque beat that Mocha totally pulls off with her attitude, but it is accompanied by an incredibly lame chorus by Timbaland. There's something wrong with "Talkin Crazy" that I can't quite put my finger on. I think the beat may be a bit too powerful for Mocha's delivery. "Mardi Gras" sounds like a second-rate version of Eve's first single "What Yall Want".

After all those years of anticipation, I was kind of disappointed. At least this provides a bit of closure about why her album was never released. Since her rap career has dwindled, Mocha has had two books published. Her first novel Cash Money includes the following description-- Tanita and Freeda, best friends caught up in a game of men and fast money, struggle with a decision that could end their friendship and possibly even their lives. I totally want to read it.

dl: MOCHA f/ TIMBALAND - Runnin Shit (YSI)
dl: MOCHA f/ MISSY ELLIOTT - Mardi Gras (YSI)
dl: MOCHA - Talkin Crazy (YSI)
(late 90s, early 00s hip-hop)
- wik it -

* I say "coincidentally" because it was all entirely coincidence. While I totally liked Mocha (a lot), I never made any effort to buy albums she was on.

** I actually remember consistently holding Nicole Wray's CD in a Sam Goody and second-guessing whether I should buy it. I bought Total's 1998 album for my other 8th-grade-girlfriend and almost kept it for myself. These two purchases would put me four songs away from having all 11 songs of Mocha's pre-solo material. I don't know why I felt the need to put this information on the internet.

*** Yes. This was the title of a Lil Kim album two years later.

gotdion: missy elliott remixes.

GOTDION's contributions to Masta & GotdioN present: Missy Elliott provide a tricky bunch for critique.

As a huge Missy Elliott fan, I was hesitant to listen to these tunes. GotdioN and Masta aren't just mixing Missy...They're mixing classic Missy from Supa Dupa Fly to This Is Not a Test! (any representation from The Cookbook is strangely missing).

I can't say that I was wrong to hesitate. On the majority of this album, the instrumentals have a tendency to overpower the vocals. While Masta and GotdioN are both influenced by Timbaland, their styles of production don't necessarily work on Missy. Of course, there are exceptions.

GotdioN's version of "Hot Boyz" transforms it from boring mid-tempo R&B jam to an apocalyptic electro-rock masterpiece. The frenetic beat suits Missy and Eve on their mission to acquire these so-called "hot boys", but the song isn't entirely perfect. While a repeated chorus of "keep it movin" literally helps to keep the song moving along, an added verse by Elephant Man sounds entirely out of place. Who invited Elephant Man to this party? Not I. He is not a hot boy. And he certainly did not have what I wanted.

I'm pretty sure that GotdioN wasn't really going for an end of the world/battleground vibe on this project. However, his mix of "4 My People" makes me feel as if an army of Missy Elliotts is marching towards me, ready to destroy me if I don't join their band of party people. When Missy screams "YO, I'M ON FIRE!", I'm convinced that she may actually be on fire. Admittedly, it's a little creepy.

d/l: MISSY ELLIOTT f/ EVE & ELEPHANT MAN- Hot Boyz (GotdioN mix) (YSI)
d/l: MISSY ELLIOTT- 4 My People (YSI)
(apocalyptic Missy Elliott remixes)
- dlo it - space it - hype it -

BLOGWATCH: La New Shit brings us an Sta remix of Yelle. Sta himself has a new mixtape on his own blog. The Rich Girls are Weeping shows some love for Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss" and gives us a taste of her remix of Rihanna's "Umbrella".

curtis vodka: remixes.

CURTIS VODKA has a virb page. So do I, and for some strange reason...I'm obsessed with it.

More importantly, Curtis Vodka has music on his virb page, including a remix of the highly underrated track "How We Do It Over Here" from Busta Rhymes f/ Missy Elliott. The minimal instrumental brings us back to the days when Busta relied on his creativity and wordplay more than the huge beats he's rapping on these days (see "Touch It" compared to "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See"). Admittedly, this song doesn't have much lyrical genius to emphasize with the minimal beat, but it's enough genius to fill the dance floor at your next party.

While I swear to God that this isn't an advertisement for virb, you need to get on that shit and friend Mr. Vodka. While you're there you can download some other remixes including Clipse, The Pack, Lil Jon, Young Dro, and Cassidy.

d/l: BUSTA f/ MISSY- How We Do It Over Here (Curtis Vodka remix) (YSI)
d/l: CLIPSE f/ PHARRELL- Mr. Me Too (Curtis Vodka remix) (YSI)
d/l: THE PACK- Vans (Curtis Vodka remix) (YSI)
(hip-hop remixes)
- buy it 1 - buy it 2 - virb it - space it - hype it -

BLOGWATCH: Today is apparently a good day for pop music? Idolator has two new tracks featuring R. Kelly, including the wonderful "This Is Why I'm Cold/This Is Why I'm Kellz" with Twista. Said the Gramophone praises the new Rihanna single "Umbrella", saying that it's post-Amerie, post-Kelly Clarkson, post-rock, and even post-M.I.A. Chazology shows some love for Lil Mama, aka the "Lip Gloss" chick.

ms. jade-- whatever happened to...?: funky fresh dressed edition.

Timbaland's Beat Club Records was created ca. 1999/2000, but around 2004 the label dissolved. This forced most of the artists to venture alone into the music industry for a new home. You may remember some of these artists. Hell, some of them may still be playing on your radio. Some of them.

Bubba Sparxxx ("Ugly"): Despite a mediocre debut and his critically acclaimed, commercially ignored sophomore slump, Mr. Sparxxx is getting some radio play with "Ms. New Booty" and "Heat It Up" thanks to Big Boi of Outkast's Purple Ribbon Label.

Petey Pablo ("Raise Up"): Petey was last heard on Ciara's song "Goodies". He also had a minor hit with the Lil-Jon produced single "Freek-a-Leek". Currently, Mr. Pablo is signed to Death Row Records and will be releasing his third album Same Eyez on Me in late 2006 or early 2007.

Tweet ("Oops, Oh My"): Due to mismanagement and promotional problems over at Atlantic Records, Tweet's second album It's Me Again did not do as well as it should have. Tweet has been working on collaborations with Monica, Jessica Betts, Fantasia Barrino, and possibly Chili of TLC. Her new album will feature a duet with Whitney Houston and production by Missy Elliott, Timbaland, Dre & Vidal (Usher's "Caught Up"), Kanye West, and possibly Rich Harrison (Beyonce's "Crazy in Love").

Sebastian (featured on "All Yall"): Sebastian is actually Timbaland's little brother Garland Mosley. In his early career, Garland was a ghostwriter for Timbaland. He has never released an album, but was featured on several songs. You can actually find him over at the space.

Ms. Jade ("Feel This Girl", "Big Head"): Hailing from Philadelphia, Ms. Jade struggled to enter the rap game because of comparisons to fellow Philly native Eve. By sheer luck and hard work, she was signed to Beat Club Records. Once she got there, she built herself upon respect for her skills (not her body) stating, "I’ve never been the type of person to fit in. I’m not into the sexual bandwagon. I want somebody to listen to my music because they like it, not because they think I’ve got nice breasts and a big butt. I want them to like my music because I’m nice. It’s as simple as that. I’m not a copycat. There’s not another female rapper like me. I’m nice, so respect it.” She hoped to land movie roles, support her family, and become a fashion mogul...but apparently her "niceness" was not enough. Though her album produced three singles, included a collaboration with Jay-Z, and led to a tour with Nelly Furtado & Ludacris...Ms. Chevon Young essentially fell off the planet around 2002.

Google her. Wikipedia her. There is no information about where Ms. Jade went off to. Did she decide to make use of her beauty school diploma or is she back in Philly peddling fake Gucci bags? Though Ms. Jade never produced a Top 40 single, her flow was critically acclaimed by both the industry and the streets. If she was so determined to make it in the game, why isn't she still making music with or without Timbaland? On that note, if Timbaland once said, "You don't understand, I didn't like no female rappers until I heard you"...then why hasn't he picked her back up for his new label, The Mosley Music Group? Is she still alive? Is she still rapping? Did she ever exist?

Call home Chevon. We're worried about you!

LAST HEARD: MISSY ELLIOTT f/ MS. JADE- Funky Fresh Dressed
LAST SEEN: Video for "Gossip Folks" with "Funky Fresh Dressed" interlude

NOSTALGIA: MS. JADE- Feel This Girl
NOSTALGIA: MS. JADE- She's a Gangsta
NOSTALGIA: Watch music video for "Ching Ching" featuring Nelly Furtado & Timbaland

BUY Girl Interrupted, BUY Under Construction

BLOGWATCH: This is a looooong overdue shoutout to shitparade for Max's awesome June DANCEPARTYSCENESTER MIX.

CORRECTIONS: "Big White Spaceship" by Pharrell Williams is not actually from his upcoming album, but is an early track produced by a collaboration between Timbaland, Pharrell, Magoo, and another individual. The name of their production group was Surrounded By Idiots. In fact, several of the tracks on the leaked copy of In My Mind (on some file-sharing networks) are NOT new. "Maybe" is actually a song by Pharrell's group N*E*R*D off of their album Fly or Die.

summer album preview: the big bang.

Busta Rhymes is an asshole. It's hard for me to write an impartial review of an album by a man who verbally attacks a gay fan for simply trying to congratulate him on his comeback. I understand that he needs to maintain his street cred, but jeez...couldn't he just pat the guy on the back and say, "Thanks for the love, No homo dawg." I'm not even going to take you back to the radio interview in which sir Bus-a-Bus states that he poked Nicole Richie and said that "He ain't gonna even ENTERTAIN" the concept of being with another man. Can't we all just take an example from Kanye?

But shit, this isn't any sort of commentary on homophobia in hip-hop. I can talk out my ass and it's not gonna stop rappers from calling their rivals fags and homos. This is about the music, so right now I got to separate myself from the man behind it. But before I do so, let me point out the gayest photo of Busta Rhymes ever taken...

"Haaaay reporter!!!"

The Big Bang is, yes, the best work Busta has done since 1998's Extinction Level Event. People are saying Busta is back, but I never realized that he left. Sure, it's been 4 years since It Ain't Safe No More. The album only went Gold, but it also pushed out "I Know What You Want", Busta's most successful single since "What's It Gonna Be?" with Janet Jackson. "Touch It" and "I Love My Bitch" aren't even touching it's success on the charts, but I suppose that doesn't mean shit to Mr. Trevor Smith.

It's all about getting another platinum on the wall...and with Dr. Dre's help, this album will probably help Busta obtain that. Honestly, he needs all the help he can get at this point. At 34 years, Busta is no longer the fresh-faced 19-year-old we heard spitting on "Scenario". He's been in the game for a long time and it shows, especially on the Midnight Marauders throwback track "You Can't Hold the Torch" featuring Q-Tip. On the song, Busta asks where all the love & music went in the game, complaining about younger rappers in the game..."These n---as can't hold the torch/ So why should we pass it?"

The most successful aspect of the album is that it remains consistent & cohesive despite the obvious differences between the club bangers, old man joints, sexy jams, street anthems, and blatant excuses to have a guest appearance. The album certainly isn't short on guests with everyone from Stevie Wonder to Missy Elliott to LaToya Jackson showing up on tracks. Yes. THAT LaToya Jackson.

The most interesting song on the album is the final track, the Dr. Dre produced "Legends of the Fall-Offs". The chorus asks, "Do you ever think what life would be? Where you will go after you die?" Evidently, it is creepy, haunting, morbid, and surprisingly beautiful. On the track, Busta raps over the sound of shoveled dirt and his own heartbeat with minimal instrumentals. It's good to know that a big ol' tough guy like Busta still has fears. It's also good to know that he still has a heart. I guess the real reason that I like it is because Busta is buried alive by the end. Asshole, I hope you get that platinum for your wall.

WATCH: "I Love My Bitch" music video f/ Kelis & Will.i.am
WATCH: "Touch It (remix)" video f/ a whole shitload of rappers, Mary J. Blige (for a fact she don't rap), and an adorable group of middle-school aged cheerleaders stepping.

DOWNLOAD: BUSTA RHYMES f/ MISSY ELLIOTT- How We Do It Over Here
DOWNLOAD: BUSTA RHYMES- Legend of the Fall-Offs

PRE-ORDER The Big Bang

Finally, I recommend that you head over to soul-sides to read a great review of Christina Aguilera's new track (that I posted earlier today) and Busta's album. You can also take a listen to "You Can't Hold the Torch". Great bloggers think alike?