IT'S THE MONEY SHOT!!

working towards an intellectual understanding of booty chatter.

jueves, julio 31, 2008

ugk & akon: hard as hell.

COCK!!
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dl: UGK f/ AKON - Hard As Hell (Z - YSI)
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In my entire high school and college career, I managed to work at least one phallic reference into almost every art history paper I wrote. So when a mainstream hip-hop single about penises pops up in my inbox, I am not going to pass up an opportunity to write about it!

When I first spotted "Hard As Hell" in my inbox, my mind didn't immediately go to a sexual place. Being that this is the first single off of UGK's new album UGK For Life, I assumed that the group would go for something "deeper" after Pimp C's death. It's easy to imagine that a song called "Hard As Hell" could be about, well...life.

But no! It's about penises and cumming on faces. My favorite part is when Akon adlibs "in your eye". This ain't no "International Player's Anthem", but I wouldn't be offended if it were bumping out of car windows for the rest of the summer.

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- BUY IT - SITE IT - SPACE IT - WIK IT - LAST IT - HYPE IT -

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martes, julio 29, 2008

santogold: icarus.

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I find it funny when friends or acquaintances read this blog and get impressed by "how much I know about music".

Last night, my friend SoTru and I went out to a bar to prepare for her stand-up show tonight. We prepared by playing Erotic Photo Pop, attempting to beat the high score of a dastardly dame known simply as "SARAH". We failed, but I was able to achieve victory elsewhere. Well, sort of.

There was this digital jukebox right next to the touch-screen machine. I'd noticed it the last time we were at the bar (and contemplated interrupting the bartender's playlist with a round of Natalie Imbruglia's 1997 hit "Torn"*). What I didn't notice last time was that there's free music trivia on this god-given digital jukebox. They had a few preview questions floating across the screen, including "Which Gwen Stefani song was written by Akon & Giorgio Tuinfort?" and "What David Bowie song opens with the line 'ground control to major tom'"? Piece of cake! So I decided to take a chance. Because it's not technically taking a chance when you have nothing to lose, eh?

Here's where the problems came in---I know very little about music made by white people prior to 1996, possibly in general. Sure, I have a lot of respect for Bob Dylan, but I have never actually wanted to sit down and listen to his entire discography. I know obvious things about Bob Dylan, but I don't know the sort of things people developing music trivia expect you to know about Bob Dylan. This isn't just about Bob Dylan. This is about white people. And how little I know about them. I love me some Cobain (apparently I look like him?), but I'm not a Nirvana genius. And I certainly don't know shit about obscure non-single songs from Blink-182's 2003 self-titled/untitled album.**

Lucky for me, nobody seemed to have played this music trivia before, so I automatically got the high score. But then I became obsessed with beating that high score, and sequentially continuing to beat my new high scores. My highest scores were the result of a lot of guessing. I didn't know that question about Loretta Lynn, but I was able to trick the machine into thinking that I did. I'm not ashamed to admit this.

I remember when I used to lie about knowing things. I've lied that I knew songs, saw certain movies, had certain experiences...and then there were the lies about knowing some sort of sexual expression. Take "snowballing" or "tea-bagging" or "scaffolding"*** as an example. Your Regina-George friend name-drops one of these activities when you're 13. They sense that you don't know it and look you straight in the eyes to say, "Do you even know what that means?" You don't want to seem uncool, so you say that you do. They're like, "Oh, well, since you know, why don't you tell me what it means?" And damnit. Now you're on the spot. Do you admit that you're a loser or do you keep up the facade?

I'm tired of the facade. Yes, I am a music blogger. But, no, I do not know everything about music. I don't know why I felt the need to write this long rant. But I wouldn't have realized that Santogold's "Guns Of Brooklyn" is basically a cover of The Clash's "Guns of Brixton" if the internet hadn't told me. Same goes for her Bad Brains "Right Brigade" cover. Look, I know I'm late talking about the Santogold and Diplo mixtape Top Ranking. Blah blah blah, I downloaded that off of discobelle like last week, UGH. Get over it. I just got a hard copy of Top Ranking mailed to me on Monday. Why? I wanted to be excited about a physical CD again. The packaging. The feel of that disc in your hands. Salivating over the tracklist while fiddling with the plastic packaging, trying to decipher which song will be your favorite based on the titles alone...

As soon as I saw the tracklist for Top Ranking, I decided that I would love "Icarus". I've always been fond of the Greek myth, and it was one of the few non-remix Santi songs on the disc. My suspicions that "Icarus" would be my favorite tune were confirmed within the first second of the song. I'm schmetarded when it comes to instruments, but that opening line (strings?) is absolutely stunning. The song pulls of this ethereal Kate Bush or Joanna Newsom vibe, unlike anything appearing on her self-titled debut album. The lyrics are often indistinguishable thanks to the style of singing she employs, almost as if her voice is just another instrumental layer. I'm not going to lie. This isn't just my favorite song on Top Ranking. This is my favorite Santogold song.


EDIT: Thanks to a lovely anonymous commenter for tipping me that the sample used in "Icarus" is from Arthur Russell's "This Is How We Walk On The Moon". You can listen to the song here. Also, thank you to another very lovely commenter for reminding me that we actually DID beat "SARAH" at Erotic Photo Pop. I bet she wasn't so cocky about her nipple-locating skills when we were done with her.
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* This is a good example of me not actually knowing things about music. Were you aware that "Torn" is a cover of a song recorded by Ednaswap in 1995? Why didn't you tell me? Finding this out so late in my life makes me feel like I'M the one who's cold, shamed, and lying naked on the floor.

** That has less to do with white people and more to do with the fact that it was Blink-182.

*** Scaffolding is not actually a sexual activity. Unless you want it to be. ;P

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viernes, julio 25, 2008

sensual harassment: carnal spirits.

dl: SENSUAL HARASSMENT - Carnal Spirits (YSI)
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I'll admit it. When I posted "Mirror" a few months ago, I wasn't sure whether Sensual Harassment would ever appear on this blog again. At the time, I wasn't really sure what direction their sound was heading towards, and confession number two---I'm still not sure.

While I referred to "Mirror" as being "on the verge of power-dance-emo", their new tune sounds like Afrika Bambaataaa meeting up with Daft Punk for some watermelon lemonade. Listening to them back to back, I thought I'd struggle to recognize it's the same band, yet the instrumentation is consistent enough for the two songs to flow into one another. Compare these two tunes to "The Journey Has Merely Begun". Huh? WTF? It's somehow consistent but it's not! I don't know where these guys are going or where they've been, but I can't wait to hear them once they reach their final destination.

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- SPACE IT - HYPE IT -

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jueves, julio 24, 2008

um, queen of the south?

Well, half of this internet doesn't even know who I am, and the other half only like me because I gave them a bunch of old MGMT songs. So that's not good. To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Queen of the South Chronicles, I'm really sorry. You know, I've been writing this blog for over two years, and when I think about how many people wanted that crown...and how many people cried over it, put out mixtapes and stuff...I mean, I think every bitch looks like they could be the baddest tonight. Look at Trina. That ass is amazing. And La Chat, I mean, your new album must have taken hours. And it's probably pretty good. So...why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just...

::Queen of the South crown breaks::

Share it. A piece for Princess, a partial Southern Queen. A piece for Trina. And a piece for Khia. She was once reported to be killed by her boyfriend because she gave him AIDs, and she still looks like a rap star. Thank you. And some for the rest of yall. Except for Jacki-O. You ain't gettin' shit.
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KHIA - Wacki-O (YSI): It's almost hip-hop sacrilege that Khia jumped on the "Hit Em Up" beat. It's a bold move, almost a little inappropriate given the background of the original tune. However, Khia brings a comedy to her diss track. From what I understand, this version of the track was released after Jacki-O and her crew wore "Fuck Khia" t-shirts to the Ozone Awards. Towards the end of the track, she thanks them for the free promotion. It's funny because despite not being loved by everyone, Khia has remained relevant among the pop-culture crowd for the controversy she stirs up. I guarantee that half of those same people can't even name a Jacki-O single. Hell, I can't even name a Jacki-O single.

KHIA - Whistle On It (YSI):
The description of this song isn't suitable for children or the weak of heart. You were warned...The moment I heard this song's title, I got a really vivid (ew) image of someone whistling onto a vagina. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary coming from someone who once spit the lines "Pussy leaking like a faucet, won't you come and fix it?" and "How you sucking on my pussy like a chicken bone...cause I'm gonna blow on your dick like a saxophone" I'm not the only person who thinks like this. When I told my friend that one of Khia's new songs was called "Put That Pussy On His Ass" he replied, "It's like a vagina giving someone's ass a rimjob." But that's not the point here. "Whistle On it" is actually a pretty incredible song, somehow managing to incorporate southern rap trends while transcending above them. With a combination of porno samples, playground handgames, and XXX verses, this is the perfect jam for your next dance party...or, um, that strip club you own. NASTI MUSIK 'O8!!

TRINA - Killing You Hoes (Twice As Nice remix) (YSI): For some reason, Khia likes to say that her new album Nasti Muzik is "the best pussy you eva had in your life!!" Trina would beg to differ. On this remix of a track from Still Da Baddest, Trina states that she "got the best pussy out, and there ain't nothing you can do about it." I don't really understand why these two debate over the superiority of their Cindy Va-Loo-Hoos, but I enjoy listening to them do so.

TRINA f/ MISSY ELLIOTT - I Got A Bottle (YSI): This is one of those rare songs by Trina in which she doesn't mention her ass or poon, but somehow manages to turn out a great party song. I say this with an extreme bias because I hate when Trina makes love-related songs. You can't claim to be "the baddest bitch" with that sort of vulnerability, you know? Though this was rumored to be the first single from the album, it was shelfed for two lame love-related songs. Luckily, the doggy-style anthem "Look Back At Me" will be released as her next single. According to such reliable sources as wikipedia, the music video will be debuting tomorrow.

PRINCESS f/ LIL WAYNE - Throne (YSI): With the help of a sample from "Stuntin' Like My Daddy", Princess of Crime Mob subtly makes her claim for the crown. This track can be summed up by the line, "friendly competition, yeah it is, but I'ma win it still." While I love the antagonistic bitchiness that Khia and Trina bring to the table, it's refreshing to see some positive energy among these ladies.

PRINCESS - A Milli (YSI):
I originally was going to include "Pretty Rave Girl" with this post, but I know all of you were wondering where you could find another "A Milli" freestyle.

GANGSTA BOO - Queen of the South (YSI): I've been in love with former Three Six Mafia member Gangsta Boo ever since "Where Dem Dollars At?", but my love grew even stronger when I somehow got linked off of VIBE.com's blog and VH1's Best Week Ever blog after featuring her. On this tune, Ms. Lola Mitchell doesn't just claim the title of queen of the south. She just takes the title, as if it is obvious that it's been hers all along. I really like this quote from her, even if it makes me a little confused as to why she recorded this song---"I’ve already been gold. I’ve already been on multi-platinum albums. Outkast, Lil’ Jon and all of that. So, why would I focus on a female that has not sold one record, who calls herself the queen of the South? What up? Do your thing, but I consider us all queens. I swear to God. I do not look at little “mini-me’s” as my competition."

LA CHAT & GANGSTA BOO - I'd Rather Get Some Bread
(YSI): On this track, the two former female members of Three Six Mafia jump on their old group's track. It's not a diss-track, it's a female version.

LA CHAT f/ MURPHY LEE - Do Ya Dance (YSI):
Admittedly, I've always been disappointed by La Chat's production. I find the sound of her low, drawl flow intriguing, but I've yet to hear a solo track that really suits her. Whatevs, yay for Memphis.

RISKAY - Fuck Boi (YSI):
This has been my guilty pleasure for the past week or two. The intro line "Oh no she didn't! Oh yes she did!" reminds me of how I felt when I first heard "Smell Yo Dick". I think Riskay's is far from being eligible as a queen of the south, she's come a long way since those skanky photos with the lollipop. Good work cleaning up, girl!

MISS KEKE - Debit Or Credit (YSI):
I posted the original version of this track last year, and I don't really understand why they gave it a makeover. There was a playful, cartoonish quality to the original that matched the ridiculous concept of the song. Miss Keke seems to be taking herself too seriously here, but I still hope she can manage to sneak in and nab a tiny piece of that crown.

RASHEEDA - A Milli (YSI):
Because you needed another one?

ANQUETTE - Throw That P (YSI):
In 1986, Anquette popped up on the Miami scene with their response to 2 Live Crew's "Throw That D". I suppose longevity of career would be required for them to have any claim to the crown, but I thought an honorable mention for them and L'Trimm was quite necessary.

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DOWNLOAD ZIP OF UM, QUEENS OF THE SOUTH? (YSI)

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viernes, julio 18, 2008

webbyvanderquackin': 001.

I used to do a feature called WEBBYVANDERQUACKIN'. I created at it as a way to give kudos to other blogs out there and provide you all with some tunes and news that didn't get covered here on my humble lil web-garden. It usually appeared at the bottom of every post, but I decided to give it a try as a weekly feature. I'll also be including five jams of the week that didn't necessarily come out this week.
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MONDANE
  • missingtoof: Alan Astor remixes DJ Amaze, Spoon, Chris Brown & T-Pain, & Lil Wayne. I'm not crazy about the 'mixes, but Alan Astor is pretty okay, I guess.
  • palms out: I know Remix Sunday is on Sunday, but I read it on Monday.
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TWO'S DAY
  • bigstereo: Diplo & Santogold bring us Top Ranking, a "a Piracy Funds Terrorism type way" mix-album featuring unreleased tracks & remixes of dear ol' Santi. You can purchase said album over at Turntable Lab, and download new mixes of "L.E.S. Artistes" and "Starstruck" over at BIGSTEREO. Slightly related, Travis sent me a video of TIGHT'N UP's cover of "Uptown Top Ranking". I'd really like to live inside said video. Really!
  • kanye west: The Yeez brings us a new vid featuring himself, Mr. Fonzworth Bentley, Sa-Ra, & Andre 3000. For the record, he (allegedly) does NOT have a ghost-blogger. I, along with several other bloggers, remain suspicious. Making hits and getting blog hits just don't mix.
  • spin: Everyone seems very upset that the new I'm From Barcelona song isn't a cover of M.I.A. I'm just upset that it's nowhere near as fun as "Treehouse" and "I'm From Barcelona".
  • funky16corners: Get your dose of summer-soul with Funky16Corners Radio v.53.
  • hipster runoff: "Leslie Feist stole my friends, my identity, my counting gimmick, and my sense of purpose. I have nothing. I am just another muppet with no reason to be alive. I used to be proud of my iPod nano. I used to be proud of myself"---The Count, in reference to Feist's appearance on Sesame Street.
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HUMP DAY
  • sohh: T-Pain is upset by other artists' new-found fondness of vocoders and auto-tune, but he isn't about to kill the trend himself. Apparently one of his new songs will incorporate the line, “Your daughter told you to get off daddy’s d*ck!” Beyond this piece of news, Erykah Badu says to haters who are judging her for being pregnant with Jay Electronica's baby..."kiss my placenta".
  • vulture: Timbaland claims that Jay-Z wants him to produce the entirety of his next album, intends to aim for M.I.A. vs. bagpipes vibe. Thankfully, as Vulture points out, he is probably a delusional liar.
  • ali's blog: Hayden Panettiere pathetically eye-fucks a camera, implies that she would be a terrible girlfriend, follows Paris Hilton's footsteps in creating an unnecessary reggae-tinged pop song, and makes me wish that they really didn't have to save the cheerleader (ie: Please Do Not Bring It On, All Or Nothing!!). And despite having very no image or personality, Ashanti's new video is surprisingly playful and enjoyable.
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THURSTY DAY
  • daily intel: "Manginacal" (maj-EYE-ni-cull) may be my new favorite word.
  • nah right: Kid Cudi drops one of those "free mixtapes" the kids keep talking about.
  • pretty much amazing: I hate Coldplay, even if "Viva La Vida" is kind of catchy in a bad way. For those who don't, they're apparently giving you a new song called "Death Will Never Conquer". I am holding back all evil puns about Chris Martin and death.
  • '90s r&b junkie: This post made me a little sad that Kelis is so unappreciated.
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FRIED DAY
  • gvb: Santogold & M.I.A. on one song. Expect this to skyrocket on hype machine as soon as some blogger gets an mp3 or audio hijacks it off of myspace.
  • diary of a mad blacktress: "Technically, like, he gentrified my vagina...they're building a Jamba Juice down there." Sojourner "You Can't Handle The" Truth has the vids up of her Black History Month stand-up routine.
  • screener: What would you do if Space Chimps magically (or maginacally) beat The Dark Knight in the box office?
  • gmsc: I really enjoy the life of Cindi, a fictional hipster girl. Fuck Lil Wayne or Estelle or whoeverbutt. Self-aware hipsterism is this summer's "Umbrella".
  • idolator: In which Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs has a secret side-project. Also, that Nas guy may be having a pretty good week.
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JAMS OF THE WEEK
  1. USHER f/ YOUNG JEEZY - Love In This Club (Sta remix) (YSI)
  2. LAURYN HILL - The Makings Of You (Curtis Mayfield Cover) (YSI)
  3. LEIF - Black Magic (YSI)
  4. LITTLE PICTURES - Tiny Gaps
  5. BEN ONE f/ SHAWNNA - Never Leave My Girl
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eureka gold: belly full of wine.

dl: EUREKA GOLD - Belly Full Of Wine (YSI)
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I began to have a total music crush on Eureka Gold in January 2007. This was back in the days when bands could only have four songs on their space pages, and I decided that they were "one of my favorite new bands" based solely on those four songs ("Just North", "Over Mountain", "Lovely Lovely", and "Peter Oh"). It's quite possible that this decision was made because I have always had this odd desire to run away to Nashville, TN. I've never been this fond of any other Nashville band, so it's likely that this isn't the case.

For the longest time, there was no digital method of getting a copy of their self-titled debut(?) album. In hopes of obtaining a physical copy, a few attempts were made to message the band asking for one. They failed miserably. Good things come to those who wait? The album is now available on Amie Street, currently priced at $2.30. If you're unfamiliar with Amie Street, songs are initially offered as free and rise in price up to 98 cents based on their popularity. It's a rather lovely system, and my only complaint is that I have trouble finding new tunes (recommendations would be appreciated). Okay. So that's not my only complaint. Ashley Alexandra Dupre somehow holds the number one and two spots on the All Time R&B charts. That's just the opposite of cute.

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- BUY IT - SITE IT - SPACE IT - HYPE IT -

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jueves, julio 17, 2008

little pictures: owl + owl.

dl: LITTLE PICTURES - Owl + Owl (YSI)
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It took me less than thirty seconds to realize that I was in love with Little Pictures. No joke. Shortly after opening their page on the space, I already started typing an e-mail to request to hear their album Owl + Owl. Electro bedroom pop from New Zealand with male/female vocals? "Sign me up!" I said. Though it took less than a day for me to receive the whole album, it sure felt like forever. I was craving these tunes like crackheads crave...um, crack. I was craving these tunes so much that I couldn't even come up with a proper simile to identify my cravings! Now that I have the album perhaps I can try once more, eh?

These tunes are as cute and awesome as...
  • babies falling down and laughing about it.
  • cleaning out your closet and finding a "do you like me?" note from fifth grade (on which someone circled "yes").
  • a panda sneezing.
  • baby lions.
  • children in colored bear-costumes dancing (or not dancing) on a stage.
  • an old couple holding hands.
  • a duckling, turle, and guinea pig helping a puppy open his doggy door so it can take a wee-wee. (BEST SHOW EVAH)
Phew! That's all I got right now. Perhaps you can come up with something better? I know I can't beat the quote on their space---"Little Pictures make me happier then a sweater with 50 penguins on it." Damn that's cute!

An hour or so ago, I started choreographing a dance to the "Owl + Owl" chorus. I should probably mention that I was doing this in the sixteenth floor bathroom of my office building. Someone is going to walk in one day when I do this kind of shit, but my embarrassment will be alleviated by the glory of owning a copy of Owl + Owl. You should own a copy too! You know, just in case you need to alleviate the embarrassment of someone catching you choreographing dances in a public bathroom. Ha...ha? I'm not the only person that happens to, right? Anyone? Anyone?

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BONER TRACK: LITTLE PICTURES - Tiny Gaps (YSI)
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port o'brien: move bitch.

dl: PORT O'BRIEN - Move Bitch (Ludacris cover) (YSI)
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Back in December 2006, I fell in love with Port O'Brien's cover of "My Humps". This was prior to Alanis Morissette's viral cover video (probably the most amazing thing Alanis Morrissette she's done since Jagged Little Pill), so the novelty of a Black Eyed Peas cover was still fresh. Beyond that, their cover was tons more enjoyable to listen to than the Alanis version, though admittedly not as funny.

Well, the band decided to one-up itself. As promotion for their latest album All We Could Do Was Sing, they've recently provided a download of their cover of the Ludacris jam "Move Bitch". It appears that this cover has been a live favorite for over a year.
It takes some of the best portions of Luda, I-20, and Mystikal's individual verses, though I'm still a little sad that they left out my favorite, very poetic line---" Oh, Oh, wassup? Gettin' my dick sucked, what are yoouu doin'?" At least the shouty tone of Port O'Brien's third verse matches the craziness of Mystikal, eh?
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miércoles, julio 16, 2008

fonzworth bentley: everybody.

dl: FONZWORTH BENTLEY f/ SA-RA, KANYE WEST, ANDRE 3000 - Everybody (video)
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I just looked up the new Fonzworth Bentley track that everyone's been blogging their asses off about, and the song has been leaked since nearly over two years ago. I don't know why I feel a need to point that out. I know it was just a shitty radio-rip, but how did everyone not go ape-shit about it back then? My feelings of this song lie somewhere between those of Mixtape Maestro and Idolator. I have a feeling that Fonzworth's album will only be as good as the guests who appear on it, though maybe he'll prove me wrong! ::shrug:: This track is a good start.
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BONER TRACK: FONZWORTH BENTLEY f/ PIMP C & LIL WAYNE - C.O.L.O.U.R.S. (YSI)
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- SPACE IT - HYPE IT - WIK IT -

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martes, julio 15, 2008

twink: a very fine adventure

dl: TWINK - 3 Bunnies In A Balloon (YSI)
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Imagine three bunnies flying in a hot-air balloon. One of them is blue. One of them is orange. One of them is pink. Well, these bunnies are arguing about where they should go for vacation. One of them wants to fly over the ocean to frolic with flying fish and a friendly octopus. One of them wants to fly over candy mountain to catch a glimpse of a rainbow and potentially indulge in some sweets. One of them wants to fly to the moon and get a closer look at the infamous carrot-shaped constellation. Got it? Good.

Now this isn't a riddle where you have to determine which bunny wants to go on which vacation. Not at all! These bunnies just need your help. No matter where they wind up, they will inevitably be happy. However, they need assistance in making a decision.

This is the concept of the artwork for A Very Fine Adventure, the fifth album by Twink (IRL: Mike Langlie). For those who haven't been following ITMS!! since last year, Twink has nothing to do with porn. He is a toy piano collector who creates his music out of...well, what do you think? Toasters? Guess again.

With instruments such as this or this (among many more), Langlie has created over 100 toy-instrument compositions. He's gained the attention of NPR, who called his tunes a "surprising and playfully odd blend of electronica and cartoon music." Also, he's gained my attention. Because these jams are just too adorable to ignore!

A Very Fine Adventure
opens with the tune that appears to have inspired the album's artwork--"3 Bunnies In A Balloon". This isn't the type of tune you can simply place between Lil Wayne and ANORAAK on your party shuffle. Au contraire! This album is a journey that should be listened to in it's entirety (and I'm not just saying that because I want you to buy it, though you won't regret it if you do). Being around children for 4th of July weekend, it made me realize how pathetic the adult imagination is. My 7-year-old cousin conjured up an imaginary boyfriend named David who left her for a 10 year-old he got pregnant. I suppose if I did something like this, I'd get thrown into an institution. That's not my point though! We adults just need to stop being such poopheads and get in touch with our inner child. Can I get an AMEN? Holler if you hear me.

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BONER TRACK: TWINK - Toadstool Tea (YSI)
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- BUY IT - SITE IT - SPACE IT - HYPE IT -

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viernes, julio 11, 2008

santi, get that check! (omgee, what a sellout).

(Not photoshopped, as seen at subway stop and my flickr album, I saw that)
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Even though I'm not even close to having gone to school with her and could never quite write a series of posts entitled "BONER4SANTI", I'm sure plenty of current Wesleyan students and alums can relate to feeling like they have a very personal relationship with Santi White. Every time I pass her Converse ad at the 14th street subway stop, I say in my head, "SANTI, GET THAT CHECK!" For real! Let Bud Light Lime, Ford, VO5, EA Sports, Zune, and MTV write their checks, tour with motherfuckin' Coldplay, do your thang and...GET THAT CHECK GIRL! Anyone who would stop listening to you because you're a "sellout" deserves to be hate-fucked by a chainsaw, as well as anyone who wouldn't start listening to you because of that mentality. The concept of selling out is absurd to talk about with current climate of the music industry. Do you want your favorite artist to pay their rent? Well, perhaps you should tell people to stop copping their albums illegally.

Can we talk about something though? What the fuck do those "Three Artists, One Song" Converse ads have to with shoes? They might as well just call it
"Three Artists, One Cup" because that'd be just as relevant to what they're trying to sell. Couldn't it be like "Three Artists, One Shoe, One song"? Well, technically "one shoe" is kind of useless, unless you're a total tryhard who wears a Converse on just one foot. Also, "My Drive Thru" doesn't make me want to buy shoes at all. If anything, the video makes me wonder where I could buy that cute marching band jacket so I could give it to a friend who could pull off that kind of shit. More importantly, it just makes me wish that it was "One Artist, One Song" because Santi's parts are 1000% better than those of Pharrell & Julian Casablancas. I guess N.E.R.D. pretty much provided the beat, but I'm kind of over them right now until they start doing something interesting again.

If anyone reading this is wondering what song I'm talking about, you can download it here. I feel like this remix from Bud Light Lime's website is certainly relevant enough for this post, as well as relevant to Santi's career since "Lights Out" will be the third single off her self-titled album. The TEPR remix has nothing to do with this topic, but it's one of the more interesting remixes of Santogold wandering about the internet.

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BONER TRACK: SANTOGOLD - Lights Out (remix) (YSI)

BONER TRACK II: SANTOGOLD - Say Aha (TEPR remix) (YSI)
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jueves, julio 10, 2008

sunshine anderson: sunshine at midnight.

dl: SUNSHINE ANDERSON - Problems (YSI)
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I'm nearly a year and a half late on this, but I've finally acquired Sunshine Anderson's second album Sunshine At Midnight (thanks to my short stay on eMusic). I've always been obsessed with her 2001 single "Heard It All Before", one of the ultimate female break-up songs. The video is especially amazing, and I like to think that all women who are wronged bust out a pint of "NEWLY SINGLE" branded ice cream and sing to their triflin' holographic ex-boyfriends.

Much like her debut album's first single, the first single released off of Sunshine At Midnight "Something I Wanna Give You" continued along with Ms. Anderson's angst, boasting such lines as "And one more thing, you were only so so in bed. I had to fake it more times then I can count on both of my hands." The angst doesn't stop there. Despite having potentially romantic titles such as "Good Love" and "My Whole Life", the first five songs on the album have Sunshine doing what she does best--hating on shady men, empowering women. But she doesn't lose her charm when she starts to get romantic, as proven on the third single "Wear The Crown"--"It was a stormy Sunday. I was sitting at the Waffle House, when you looked my way. I spilled grits and shit all over my legs." I'd like to nominate that for best piece of R&B imagery outside of "Trapped In The Closet".

Although tracks 6-12 majorly lean towards mushy, optimistic slow jams, it also contains one of the album's most amazing moment. "Problems" doesn't deal with Sunshine's own issues, but tells a tale about an old friend she ran into. Her man was taken away by the police and she's left stripping for money to pay the rent and feed her children. She laments to Sunshine by stating she'd like to drink and smoke her problems away, and Sunshine's just like, "Girl, I know! I've been there too." So it's not necessarily the feel good song of the new millennium, but the chorus is damn motherfuckin' catchy. Seriously, if you're an R&B fan who doesn't already own this album...you might need it.

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BONER TRACK: SUNSHINE ANDERSON - Trust (YSI)
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miércoles, julio 09, 2008

freekstyler: maximum capacity.

dl: FREEKSTYLER - Maximum Capacity (YSI)
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The internet appears to have taken a break from their collective, massive boner for sample-king Greg Gillis (Girl Talk). I never mentioned his latest album Feed The Animals (mostly because I figured you've already downloaded it) due to the fact that I feel that so many individuals have been working the A.D.D. mash-ups recently. Gillis has a very specific style that generally leans toward mixing classic rock with recent hip-hop hits, but others have taken the style to different levels by meshing indie with pop, indie with indie, pop with pop, and so forth. No disrespect to Gillis! I'm glad he managed to popularize this style, and his production is a lot sleeker, more inventive, and humorous than some of his biters. I'm just sayin' that there are other people doing what he does in a way that might appeal to other demographics, ya heard?

One of those people is Freekstyler, who recently sent me a new song called "Maximum Capacity". The new jam features elements of 50 Cent with Justin Timberlake & Timbaland, Aaliyah, Alice Deejay, Chris Brown & T-Pain, Diddy & Keyshia Cole, E-40, Enur & Natasja, Guns N' Roses, Huey, Larry Tee & Princess Superstar, R. Kelly, Technotronic, Tweet, and Usher. I'm particularly fond of the moment when Huey's "Pop, Lock & Drop It" has a brief fling with "Sweet Child O' Mine" and then decides that it'd rather make love in a club. I look forward to hearing more from Mr. Freekstyler, and you'll be hearing more about him on this blog whether you like it or not.

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martes, julio 08, 2008

anoraak: talking in your sleep (the romantics cover).

dl: ANORAAK - Talking In Your Sleep (The Romantics cover) (YSI)
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Ahoy maties, it's been a while! I guess I was on a short hiatus. Some would call it a vacation. Well, now I am ready to emerge from hibernation with the help of a lovely French electro group known as ANORAAK. I mentioned previously that I've been dying to hear their contribution to Buffetlibre's REWIND '80s cover/remix project, and it's finally arrived in the form of a cover of The Romantics tune "Talking In Your Sleep". The original recording was released before I was even born. Despite being the highest charting single by The Romantics and getting major airplay on MTV, modern pop culture has managed to provide "What I Like About You" with permanent placement in my brain. ::shrug:: I'm kind of glad they decided to cover a song that I don't know well. There's a possibility that this may piss off someone who is fond of the original, but if you love ANORAAK as much as I do...there shouldn't be any issues. "Talking In Your Sleep" is also the name of a recent episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation, in which Paige totally thinks she caught the HIV. Just when I thought that show was going to the shih tzus, they finally went there, you know? This ANORAAK cover goes there too, and by "there" I mean a totally awesome place where there's no HIV or Paige Michalchuck.
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